


Unfamiliar Territory

by grey2510, ThayerKerbasy



Series: Hell on Earth [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bodyswap, Canon Universe, Crack Treated Seriously, Dean Winchester Hates Witches, F/M, Gen, Juliet is a delightful murder beast, M/M, magical mishaps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-10-18 12:29:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20639192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey2510/pseuds/grey2510, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThayerKerbasy/pseuds/ThayerKerbasy
Summary: Dean hates witches (Rowena mostly excepted), and this latest hunt does nothing to dispel that when it all goes horribly wrong. Now it’s up to Dean and Juliet to work more closely than they ever have before — and ever hope to again — to fix the magical mess.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We're back! We've been poking at this fic idea for so long that we're thrilled to finally be able to share it with you all.
> 
> And I just want to say thank you, Thayer, for letting me take Juliet for a ride. She's your delightful murder beast through and through but borrowing her for a bit was so much fun. I hope I did her justice.
> 
> \- Grey
> 
> No, seriously, you all have no idea how long we've been itching to share this fic. Grey got to write Juliet and she did so awesome (but don't tell her I said so or she might think she doesn't need to keep me around anymore). I hope you enjoy this nonsense as much as we enjoyed writing it.
> 
> \- Thayer
> 
> (I'll always need to keep you around, Thayer. Why you put up with me is the bigger mystery.)

"Goddamn witches," Dean muttered, stepping gingerly over her body and trying to avoid the precariously stacked books and baubles and whatever-the-fuck-else. "Goddamn _hoarder_ witches."

Seriously, torching this mess would be a damn public service, and not just because of the witchy shit and the mysterious deaths and the missing pets in the neighborhood. Weird thing was, Dean wasn't even completely convinced she _meant_ to kill anybody. She was just that bad at her witchery. 

Bald dude showed up for a magic spell to help cure his Mr. Clean syndrome and next minute—_bam!_ He was in his bathroom looking like Sweeney Todd's version of just a little off the top. Except that was slit throats, right? Whatever. Scalped was the bottom line.

Or the woman who wanted to win the lottery and ended up being crushed to death in her sleep by a million dollars worth of pennies. Know how much a million buckaroos in pennies weighs? A fuck-ton, is how much.

Dean shook his head and nearly knocked into a glass case of figurines that brought back some less than pleasant memories of English class sophomore year—the Colorado half—and frigging Tennessee Williams. Just as he regained his balance, something darted out underfoot, hissing horribly.

"What the hell—" Dean stumbled back, bumping into Juliet, who growled at the little fuzzball scurrying away. Well, guess one of the neighborhood cats survived this whole horror show. He didn't want to know what had happened to the rest. He sneezed—_damn allergies_—and steadied himself by grabbing Juliet by the scruff of her neck before she could go chasing off after Puss in Boots. "It's just a cat, Juliet. Not one for eating."

Juliet whined her displeasure and so he gave her a pat.

"Yeah, I know. I'll take you out hunting later. Plus, I wouldn't eat anything here—who knows what she did to it."

They weaved their way through the house, making sure there was no one else there or anything that required immediate attention before they torched it all. Juliet led them to the door to the basement, which prompted a deep breath from Dean.

"Yeah, awesome. A witch's creepy basement. What could go wrong." Gun ready, he made his way down the stairs just behind Juliet. He nearly gagged at the sight below.

Look, he had seen some weird shit in his day—not just from hunting: the internet was a place of many tastes and there were things that he wished he could unsee—but the half-animal, half-human dead things in the basement were a new one for him. He crinkled up his nose. Juliet seemed to want to do the same thing. She kept her distance from bodies, barely giving them more than a cursory sniff.

"They dangerous?"

She whuffed what he thought was a no, and so, covering his nose with his elbow to block the smell, he took a step forward to inspect them, sneezing again as he got closer. 

The bodies were a range of sizes—some not much bigger than a decent sized dog and others the size of an adult human—and in various stages of transformation. His stomach churned. He paused at the first one, a vaguely female human-cat thing, and looked at her necklace. No, _collar_.

"'Miss Kitty Fantastico,'" he read from the metal disk. He snorted. "Wrong witch you got taken by there, Miss Kitty." 

Most of the other bodies had collars, too, and quick look confirmed that they were the missing pets from the half a dozen posters plastered around the neighborhood. Dean stood up, knees creaking. 

"Whaddya think, Juliet? Familiars?" Juliet just tilted her head in question, so he continued with a vague wave of a hand towards the bodies. "Betcha she was trying to make them into familiars. I ain't a witch, but I'm pretty sure that's not how it works." 

Juliet seemed to shrug and then headed towards the stairs, which he took to mean that either there wasn't anything else of interest in the basement or she'd prefer to not be around the monstrosities. Or both. Well, Dean and his allergy-itchy eyes could get behind that idea, and he followed her towards the worn wooden steps. This hellhole just confirmed for him that this witch had been too incompetent to live: she had been dangerously bad at her job and she hadn't seemed to care who or what got hurt in the process.

Something in the corner at the bottom of the stairs glinted, catching his eye, and he crouched to investigate. He knew better than to just pick something up in a witch's house without at least a glove, so he reached forward with the barrel of his gun to slide whatever it was out of the corner so he could see it better. 

Before he could, though, he was bowled over by a couple hundred pounds of hellbeast as Juliet yipped her "Danger, Will Robinson" alert. They were a tangle of limbs and fur and flannel, and Dean dropped his gun as he threw out his hands to catch his balance.

"What the hell, Juliet, I wasn't gonna touch it—" 

Well. That was what he _tried_ to say. What came out was an unholy growl and oh, somehow he was looking down at _himself_, who was looking back at him with wide eyes.

He scrambled back off of himself (_what the fuck what the fuck_), and rested on his...haunches? 

_Oh no..._

The Dean in front of him awkwardly got into a sitting position, leaning back against the wall and then...barked? He—other Dean—scrunched up his face before moving his mouth around like a baby trying out a food they're not sure they like. "M-master?"

_Juliet?_ he thought and yipped at the same time. 

"It's...me. Juliet."

Well, shit.


	2. Chapter 2

Juliet was so confused. One moment she was protecting her unfortunately-squishy master from a bad magic smell, and the next she wasn’t even herself anymore. The smell was gone, but most of the other smells in the room had disappeared, too.

Her master’s meatsuit was wobbly, not at all as stable as her usual four feet. She missed her tail. What should have been a bark to express her feelings came out as a strange sound she’d never heard from any of her humans, which held no meaning.

Oh right! Human sounds in a human mouth!

She tried to wrap her tongue around word-sounds, only to find that her master’s meat-brain already knew how to do it. Well, that was useful.

Her master felt as confused as she was. At least her bond with her master was still okay, if she could sense his confusion. She also sensed him reaching out, fumbling to ask things without words. Her poor master felt like a helpless pup.

Without thinking about it, Juliet lurched forward to try to headbutt her master’s chest and lick his face, but the resulting mouthful of fur tasted _awful_. Words poured out of her in a whine. "Oh, that’s gross! Why is your tongue broken, Master?"

The amusement she felt from him as he whuffed felt almost traitorous. She scraped her master’s — her? She didn’t want to think of it as hers, but it was for now — tongue with blunt-clawed fingers in an attempt to remove the hair. Some wouldn’t come off and she ended up swallowing it, hoping it wouldn’t bother her sensitive human stomach.

Her master seemed to have figured out standing and walking at least. While she pawed at the last bits of hair in her mouth, her master climbed the stairs slower than a newborn pup, taking one step at a time when he could have vaulted half of them in one bound.

After getting to her own feet, it wasn’t so funny. Muscle memory covered most of it, but she kept trying to balance with her tail and every time she did, she lurched to one side. Leaning against the wall got her up the stairs and outside, at which point she just stopped, unsure where to go next.

The world felt so dead and empty. Her ears couldn’t move to pick up sounds, so she wasn’t too surprised not to hear the creatures in the area, but she couldn’t smell them either. She was nose-blind like her old friend Brutus and the thought made her want to whimper. Not wanting to hear what that would sound like from a human mouth, she clamped down on her despair with firm thought-jaws and shook the thought away. There was no time to be upset when her master needed her.

Thinking of which, her master trotted over to the Impala car beast, nosed the door, then came back to Juliet and nosed at her — her master’s? — pocket. "Oh! You want me to wake up the car beast?"

His nod was clear, though there was a hint of worry underneath. Juliet couldn’t imagine why he’d be worried, unless he thought the car beast might not recognize them in their altered forms.

Reaching her hand into the pocket, she touched the keyring. She’d seen her master perform the ritual wakening of the car beast so many times. How hard could it be?

The first step was to open the back door for her — now her master — to get in. Right. She just had to use a hand to make the fingers do the thing…

She tugged on the handle and nothing happened. Maybe she needed to talk to the car beast. Her master did that often enough, so maybe it needed to be aware of her presence before it would allow them in. "Impala Car Beast, you need to let us in. Our master is in my form and he needs to return home to the Bunker Palace."

From behind her, her master snorted. Juliet turned to see what was so amusing. Tongue lolling, he shook his head, then bumped his nose into a small button just under the handle. Oh! She hadn’t noticed that before.

It took a few tries, but she eventually managed the proper combination of pressing the button and pulling the handle while the button was pressed. Unfamiliar with the motions involved, she opened the door against her borrowed body and landed on her backside.

"Oww!" she yelped, craning her neck around to try to see what she knew her limited human body couldn’t actually see. "Why did the car beast hit me?"

After looking her over, her master patted her with a paw, which hurt almost as much as falling had. He must have felt her hurt through their bond because he lowered his head and nosed her arm — which was much more comforting — before jumping into the car beast.

It was Juliet’s turn to be amused. Because her master wasn’t used to his new size yet, he ended up on his side with one forepaw on the floor, one hooked on the front seat, and his hind legs sprawled on the back seat. The sound that came from Juliet’s current mouth startled them both.

"Is that— Did I just laugh? That’s what you call it, right? Laughing feels good, Master." Carefully standing on her master’s too-long legs, she braced herself to open the other door and realized, "Oh! Laughing made the hurt go away!"

She could feel her master’s indignation as he struggled to right himself, so Juliet decided to close the door behind him and let him feel like he wasn’t being watched anymore. After all, she still had to enter the car beast somehow, so it was much better to do that while her master was busy.

Juliet pushed the button and pulled the handle of the front door, taking great care to move out of the way. When nothing bad happened, she tried to copy what she’d seen her people do so many times before, again being very careful because she really didn’t want to get hurt again. Protecting her master was confusing and extra difficult when she had to protect both his meat form and him in her form.

Seated safely in her master’s usual spot, Juliet was sure the hard part was over. She put the key into the key place, turned it to wake up the car beast, then put her paws-err-hands on the round thing and waited.

The car beast rumbled awake, but nothing else happened.

In the back seat, her master snorted and reached over the front seat, pawing in the direction of the sticky-outie thing behind the round thing. Right, that. Juliet could sense the worry her master felt, so she hurried to reassure him. "Of course, the thing to tell the car beast what to do. I can’t believe I forgot. It’s alright, Master, you can depend on me."

Oddly, his feelings of worry only got worse, so Juliet resolved to ignore it for the moment and concentrate on giving the car beast the proper commands. The stick thing had several options, so she chose the first one, thinking maybe that would prod the car beast to start to move slowly. Slow would be best to start.

Impala went slowly backwards toward the road. While her master’s worry turned into panic, Juliet turned to look behind them, like her master always did while going backwards. She couldn’t remember him giving the car beast commands, but maybe he had a strong bond with Impala like he had with Juliet. "Impala Car Beast, I need you to run on the road behind us so we can go home."

The car beast didn’t turn. It went straight backwards. Her master whimpered and scrambled to reach something in the front. Clearly, something was wrong, and while it was a puzzle Juliet could probably solve if she had enough time, it wasn’t the sort of puzzle she could mull over with a quiet corner and a bone.

The only thing she could think of was to do what she’d seen her master do. Paw-hands on the round thing, she turned it and the car beast turned onto the road just in time to avoid the things on the other side of the road. Juliet moved the round thing until it seemed the car beast was slowly travelling straight on the road, if still backwards.

Her master chose that moment to fall onto the front seat, paws tangled underneath him, face-down near the floor. He squirmed around, but instead of righting himself on the seat, he squeezed a paw down to press against one of the button-things on the floor — which Juliet had never noticed before and had ignored as a human — and the car beast stopped!

Sliding her awkward booted foot onto the button thing so her master could take his paw back, Juliet briefly noted how her borrowed meat form trembled slightly and required faster air pumping than before. "Master, Impala is being a very bad car beast! How do you get her to listen to you?"

Her master struggled back upright on the front seat, glared at Juliet with fiery eyes, and huffed.


	3. Chapter 3

_"How do you get her to listen to you?"_ Oh Jesus Christ, this was a fucking nightmare. Not only was he trapped as a fiery furball, he now had to teach a damn hellhound how to drive a car, which she thought was _alive_.

Really, he only had himself to blame there, calling the Impala "she" and "Baby" (not that he would ever ever ever in a million years admit fault to Sam). He felt a twinge of guilt at this line of thought and silently promised to make it up to Baby once they got out of this mess.

With all of the delicacy and grace of a bull in a china shop, Dean managed to nose the car back into park and got her to turn the engine off while he tried to figure out what to do about this. She obviously knew some of the basics: key in the ignition, turn the steering wheel, shift out of park (though since she presumably couldn't read even in his form, she would have no idea what P R N D meant)... The pedals had been new to her and although she still had her—his?—foot on the brake, he couldn't bank on her keeping it there forever, or to not try out the gas before they were ready. So, back in park was the safer choice for now.

Thank whatever higher power was out there and might actually give a crap (no one, obviously; Exhibit A: today's events) that Baby wasn't stick shift. He couldn't imagine trying to throw a clutch and shifting gears into this clusterfuck. 

He settled his huge hairy butt back on the seat as best he could, fighting off the urge to stick his head out the window. At least this time, that instinct wasn't because he was mentally turning into a dog (screw that whole nightmare of a memory) but because it was really cramped up in the front seat. 

Letting out a sulphuric sigh, he looked at Juliet. She was sitting straight as an arrow, with her hands at a perfect ten-and-two on the wheel (maybe there was hope for her after all), and her eyes were wide as she looked back at him. Her breath was shallow and he noticed for the first time that she was trembling slightly. Shit, she must be terrified. Reaching forward, he nosed her right hand off the wheel and tried to send calm vibes to her. She took a deep breath and scratched behind his ears absently—_damn, that did feel good_—and through their bond, he could feel her energy shift and relax.

_Gonna be ok, girl, don't worry,_ he thought to her, while trying to take a page out of his own book by calming himself down out of the panic he'd nearly worked himself into when Baby had started rolling backwards.

"I'm not worried, Master," she said bravely, though her voice quavered a little. "It'll be a lot harder for you to get hurt while you're in my form."

That hadn't been what he'd meant, but close enough. He tilted his head so she could get that spot behind his right ear—_and ohhh yeah, that's the good stuff_—when what she'd said suddenly cut through the fog of head-scratching goodness.

Had she...had she heard his thoughts?

She didn't say anything to that, but she did frown as he moved away from her hand.

"Are you ok, Master? Is there something bad coming?" Her eyes darted out at the road and all around them. "I don't hear anything. Or see anything. Or smell anything."

_No, nothing bad!_

No response—she just continued to survey their surroundings, growling slightly at the nonexistent threats.

Ok, so it wasn't just thoughts. Which was probably a good thing, seeing as he'd had some less than charitable opinions about his current situation and she hadn't heard all of those. 

First things first: he nosed her shoulder to get her attention, and immediately caught an even stronger whiff of his own deodorant and soap and laundry detergent and sweat and something savory-salty that reminded him of...oh yeah, the breakfast burrito he'd had this morning. Gross. Well, it could've been worse. Could've been Sam after a burrito of any kind. He made a mental note to apologize to Juliet on behalf of his brother (and to maybe get some better detergent: meadow breeze or whatever it was supposed to be was a damn lie). 

Juliet stopped gearing up for an attack and looked at him intently, her head cocked to the side in a way that bizarrely made her look like her...like hellhound-her. Shit, this was confusing.

_Alright, focus. You can do this._ Concentrating on Juliet and reaching out with his mind towards that constant emotional thread that had kept them linked ever since they took down that demon and her hell-mutt, he thought-said, _Juliet? Can you hear me?_

Her eyes widened. "Master? I can hear you in my head! How did you do that? Can I do that when I'm back in my body? I never could with my old master, even though he was a real demon and didn't forget how to be one like you did, so I never thought I'd be able to with a human master—"

_Juliet! Chill for a second._ Damn, she was chatty for a hellhound. While he was curious what other thoughts she'd been obviously just itching to share but had been unable to until now (apparently he'd _forgotten how to be a demon???_), they had more pressing matters. 

"Chill?" She frowned. "Like with you and Cas and the computer stories?" 

_Oh god no._ If it weren't so cramped in this front seat he might have face-pawed. _I just meant to stop talking so I can explain how to make the car...beast listen to you. And I dunno if you'd be able to normally do this. I think it might be from the spell._

Juliet nodded. "That witch was very bad at magic. Those were bad things in the basement. I'm glad we didn't turn into them."

_Dude, you and me both._ He shuddered, kinda. More like his fur and muscles rippled. If he didn't have to give the worst driving lesson ever, he would have been tempted to go for a run: Juliet was _jacked_ and he was kinda interested in taking these hellhound powers for a spin. _So, let's get this show on the road._

"We're on the road."

Huffing a breath, Dean tried to remember this was going to be like talking to a very literal kid and that if he just got pissed at her, they weren't gonna go anywhere. Or they were going to go somewhere very wrong, like a ditch. 

_Yes, yes we are. Ok, you know how to turn on...wake up the car beast—that was good. I want you to do that again, but keep your right foot on the left pedal._

She blinked at him.

_The thing on the floor. The one I pushed to make the car stop._

"Ok! And then how do I get the Impala-beast to listen so she doesn't go backwards?"

_One thing at a time, Grasshopper._

"I'm not a grasshopper," she sniffed. "I'm a 'hound. In a squishy human who can't even _smell_ properly, but still a 'hound."

_Right. Sorry. Ok. Here we go._

* * *

(Five minutes and about ten yards later…)

"She's listening to me! We did it!"

_You're doing good, Juliet! Look, there's a turn coming, you have to gently turn the steering wheel, the round thing, in that direc—keep your foot on the gas pedal—no, the right one! No, not that much not that much! Ok ok gennntly… Good. Now, keep both hands on the wheel! _

"Why? You always drive with one hand on the round thing and one hand near the window or in your lap or holding Cas'—"

_Ok ok I get it. Well, when you're learning how to drive a car beast, this is how you do it: with both hands on the wheel! _

"Is that how you learned how to bond with a car beast?"

_Yes. Kinda. There was a lot more yelling._

"You were yelling."

_Sorry. I'll try not to. I wasn't angry, though. Just scared. _

"I know. It's ok, Master."

* * *

(Ten minutes and maybe a mile or two later...)

"How am I going to fight off other car beasts if I'm trying to drive? You'll have to do it, Master. Hellhound bodies are better for barking and growling."

_What? I'm not gonna—_

"But what if they attack us?"

_I gotta concentrate on helping you. Don't worry, if any of them start to look mean, I'll bark at them, ok?_

"Good idea, Master. You just need some practice being a 'hound."

* * *

(Thirty minutes later…)

"No wonder you get so angry when you drive, Master. The Impala-beast won't do anything without you prodding her."

_Hey, don't be disrespecting Baby. She's a very good listener, as long as you know how to talk to her._

"Your bond with her must be very powerful. Should I try to get her to go faster? Usually we travel much faster. It's not as fast as a hellhound can travel, but this seems slow even for a human and car beast."

_Well, we might as well practice while there aren't any other cars around, otherwise it's gonna take us a week to get back. Alright, yeah, push down gently on the gas pedal until I tell you to stop._

* * *

(An hour later….)

_You know what, Juliet? You might be a better driver than Sam._

"Really? I can teach Samoose when we get back to the Bunker Palace, if you want."

_Yes. You should absolutely teach Sam...moose. That's gonna be the best day ever._

* * *

(Fifteen minutes later…)

"Is driving always boring for humans? Is this why you listen to your songs and sing without matching the sounds?"

_What? 'Without matching the…' Hey, I'm a great singer!_

"It's not hard to match the sounds."

_You don't when you howl along!_

"I was just doing what you were doing. I can match the sounds if I have to. Hellhounds are great at matching sounds. I can teach you."

_No, that's ok… Wait. Hold on. Can you not roll your eyes?_

"No, I can't and it's very frustrating! Oh, but I have human eyes now!"

_Don't do it now! Eyes on the road EYES ON THE ROAD!_

* * *

(Five hours of driving and whatever the hellhound-body equivalent of about a million heart attacks is later…)

Dean spared a glance at the dashboard and internally sighed. Juliet was doing pretty good, and he'd never been more grateful for the fact that the Midwest was a lot of straight roads without many people on them, but they couldn't cruise forever. 

_Baby's going to need gas—er, she's going to need to be fed soon. We're going to have to stop. _

"Oh. Uh. Ok." Juliet didn't look away from the road and her hands were still firmly placed on the steering wheel. "Where should I tell her to stop?"

_Next exit_, he answered tiredly. 

Keeping up this mental connection was hard work; he wasn't used to not having a verbal outlet and his human instincts kept warring with his new hellhound biology. He was pretty sure hellhounds didn't usually need to sleep—though Juliet would kind of doze or zone out when he was sleeping—but he felt pretty drained, and Juliet in his body was probably exhausted and she probably didn't know what that feeling even was. Stopping for gas and a stretch of the legs would be good for both of them, and then he could assess whether they'd need to stop for the night or not.

It took him a second to process that she hadn't responded to his instructions and so he played back what he'd said before translating it into Juliet-speak. 

_Uh, see the green sign with the white arrow? Follow the road to the right of it, but go slowly. And then when we get to the gas station, you're going to have to listen very, very carefully to what I tell you to do, ok? _

"Of course! I'm good at listening."

_Yes, you are, Juliet. You're doing awesome._

And she was doing awesome, but up ahead presented their biggest challenge yet: talking to other humans.


	4. Chapter 4

The thought of trying to do human things from inside a human meatbag to the satisfaction of a human she’d never met before made Juliet feel both excited and like there was a fluttery bug in her stomach. Come to think of it, it was her first day in a human meatbag, so she wasn’t sure what was normal. Maybe her master always had fluttery bugs in his stomach. Although, given their bond, she was fairly certain she’d have noticed that before.

Being able to talk to her master, and immediately communicate her thoughts without him having to sort out her meaning, was without a doubt the best part of their current awful situation, so she made the most of it. "Master, it feels like you have a flying bug in your stomach. Is that normal? Do you always feel like that, or is that new? Is it possible to eat a bug without noticing? I think if I ate a bug as a ‘hound it would be burned up before I could feel it."

As Juliet brought the car beast to a stop beside its food, she could feel her master’s confusion become amusement, though she couldn’t imagine what was so funny.

_Do you mean butterflies in the stomach? Do you feel nervous, Juliet? You don’t have to be, I’ll be right here to talk you through everything._

"Oh! Yes, butter flies. Is that what those little flappy things are called? Are they made of butter? Do butter flies appear in your stomach when you’re nervous? I like butter, but they feel strange. I’ll try not to be nervous then. You know what would help me feel less nervous? Those dry meat things. Jerky? That’s traditional food for a journey, right? We should eat those."

_Yeah, sure, we can get jerky. Listen, Juliet? Deep breaths, okay? Breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth. No no, not like that. Uh…breathe in until you feel full, like you just fed your lungs a good meal, and then breathe out. _

Once she figured it out, Juliet had to admit it did make her feel better. "Oh! That must catch all the butter flies, and then you blow them out. So why can’t I see them? Are they invisible?"

Her master must have been able to see them with her ‘hound eyes, because he was laughing on the inside. _Yeah, they’re invisible. They’ll, uh, fly away when we get out of the car beast._

Stepping out of the car beast reminded Juliet just how fragile humans were. Her borrowed legs felt stiff, like her shoulder had when she was healing from an angel knife hurt, her human stomach felt like it wanted to eat itself, and there were pressure pains which Juliet vaguely recognized as a thing that happened to her master in the mornings before he visited the water room.

Worst of all, stepping out of the car beast reminded her that she was nose-blind. There were no smells to warn her what to expect, there was only the smell of car beasts and their food. It was disturbing, but it was also like a challenge to see what she could do without the advantage of smells. It had been a long time since she’d had a real challenge.

Opening her master’s door to let him out, Juliet went over her list of tasks. "Alright Master, like you say, let’s fill up Impala, hit the head, and grab a bite. Oh, I always wondered, whose head should I hit?"

Something like a small fear rose up in her master, but also a feeling Juliet didn’t have a name for, but which she sometimes felt from her master when asked about water room things. He sat and held up a paw. _Okay first rule: No more talking to me out loud when we’re trying to pass you off as human. Normal sane people don’t talk to nothing. Just do what I say and we’ll be home in no time._

"I always do what you say, Master, but really? No time? Could you always stop the passage of time, or is that a hellhound ability I wasn’t taught?"

_What? It’s an expression, it just means we’ll be home quickly. And stop talking out loud._

Juliet nodded, like she’d seen so many people do, and followed her master’s instructions to make the machine feed the car beast. She wasn’t sure how the little piece of plastic from her master’s pocket worked, but it made the car beast’s food come out of the machine and that’s all that mattered.

Once Impala was fed, they took her over to what her master called a parking spot, which gave Juliet the chance to talk again. "Thank you for talking me through that baffling task, Master. Do we grab a bite next, or do we hit a head?"

_Hit the head. Whatever. We’re going to need to go inside and talk to a person. It’s very important that you do exactly what I tell you to do whenever you have to talk to someone. _

"Of course, Master. Why wouldn’t I?"

The door made an odd sort of sound when it opened, like a metal bird chirping. Juliet looked, but couldn’t tell where the sound came from. Her master had decided to accompany her inside, so under the pretext of looking for the bird, she held the door open for him and craned her disturbingly fragile human neck in search of the source of the chirping noise.

Unable to find it, she let the door swing shut once her master was inside, but she swiftly forgot about the bird sound upon her first look at the inside of the building. The place was like one of her former master’s safe houses, a treasure trove of Things all crammed together, brightly coloured and enticing. There was nothing Juliet didn’t want to investigate, but walking had made the pressure pain worse and she didn’t know how to fix it. Fortunately, her master could feel what she felt. 

_Okay, we can fix that, but you’re gonna need to talk to that guy behind the counter. Walk over there— No, don’t go back where he is! Go stand with the, uh, barrier between you and ask for the key to the bathroom._

Following her master’s instructions exactly was so difficult when he wasn’t being precise. Standing with the barrier between her and the other human, Juliet sniffed the air a bit before remembering she couldn’t smell those things anymore. The man gave her a weird look, which she didn’t know how to interpret. Meat form expressions were still somewhat difficult.

While Juliet was still listening to her master’s instructions, the man said, "Can I help you?"

"I think so. My master says I should ask you for the key to someplace called The Bath Room, although I don’t need a bath, I don’t think." There was an odd feeling of distress from her master, followed by a crinkly sort of crashing sound, but he didn’t say anything, so Juliet kept talking. "I mean, it _is_ my first day as a human, so maybe I do. So could I have it, please?"

The man continued to wear the weird look while glancing behind her. He was mortal, so he shouldn’t have been able to see her master, but maybe something about being a human in ‘hound form had changed that. Juliet dared a quick peek.

Her master stood perfectly still, a few bags of the crunchy fried potato slices he liked were on the floor beside him, the metal rack still moving a little from where he must have bumped it. _Okay, he’s kinda weirded out now. Seriously, you need to stick to what I tell you to say, and don’t add anything._

Shaking his head, the man took a big piece of wood with a little bit of metal off the wall. "If you could try to keep things clean, that’d be great."

Taking the offered wood-and-metal, Juliet spoke without thinking. "Of course I’ll keep things clean. What sort of a ‘hound do you think I am?"

_Juliet!_

"Look, dude," the man replied after his eyebrows did a funny jump upwards. "I never pegged you for one o’ them puppy roleplay types, but I really don’t care. I just don’t wanna have to mop up piss for the fourth time today. Cool?"

_Fuck, he thinks I’m like…that. Alright, don’t say anything else except, "Got it". Alright?_

Juliet faithfully repeated, "Got it. Alright?"

The man’s eyebrows scrunched together, but he nodded slowly. "Yeah, alright. Just make sure you bring that key back. Turn around and it’s at the back of the store."

At her master’s instructions, Juliet nodded and said nothing, carefully picking up and replacing the fallen bagged snacks. She also carefully ignored her master bumping into two other displays on the way to the back. He still had a lot to learn about being a stealthy ‘hound.

The less said about the Bath Room, the better. If Juliet never had to empty her master’s meatsuit ever again, it would still be too soon. At least she’d managed to keep her word and avoid making a mess, though it had been close. Whoever made humans had obviously made a terrible mistake in their design.

In a burst of insight, Juliet understood why she’d been kept out of the water/bath room at home. Her master had been trying to hide the awful truth about the human body and its unsettling waste disposal system. It was difficult to keep the thought from turning into words immediately upon thinking it, but she was determined not to ever let her master discover how flawed his human body was.

Unfamiliar with the many delights on the shelves, Juliet stopped to look at everything — breakfast grains, thin books of stories, bottles of not-beer, even face glass as dark as demon eyes — until her master nudged her over to the jerky. She’d never had a choice before, so she selected one of every flavour. Her master didn’t object, but he did suggest she also take a bottle of water, which was an aspect of human maintenance Juliet might have otherwise forgotten.

"Why does human flesh have to be so delicate?" Though she made her words as quiet as she could, Juliet thought it looked like the Counter Man turned to look when she spoke.

_Okay, one, keep your voice down. Judgey McJudgeypants over there can call the cops on us if he thinks you’re a crazy man talking to imaginary people. And B, I dunno what you’re talking about, we’re not delicate._

"If humans were made of brimstone inside, being you would be much easier." She tried again to make quieter words, but Counter Man still stared. In an effort to be rid of his attention, Juliet faced away from him and examined the big machines with swirly colours inside. "Humans need so many things. All a ‘hound needs is a master to serve, and if we’re hurt we need heat, but that’s it. Also, what is this and can I have it?"

_That’s slush. It’s sweet and cold and I dunno if you’d like it. Just grab a bottle of water and go pay. The sooner we leave, the sooner we get home._

* * *

Blood red slush chilling her hand, Juliet drove one-handed along the deserted highway, Impala following her every command, her many packets of jerky and bottled water on the seat beside her. She’d sampled a few flavours of jerky, but after the one with the fire on the package had bitten her tongue, she’d opted to stick to cold slush, though there had been a moment when the slush had bitten inside her head and nothing was good.

Still, it was a novelty drinking something which would have made her feel sick, were she still a ‘hound. She drank cautiously and tried not to let it bite again. Through their bond, she sensed her master still disapproved, but he hadn’t forbidden it, so she was determined to make the most of her time as a human by drinking it all. She didn’t know what a "cherry Dr. Pepper" was, and it certainly didn’t taste anything like any doctor she’d ever eaten.

Perhaps it was a human attempt to artificially replicate a doctor flavour. Cherries and doctor and pepper maybe? In that case, they’d gotten it very wrong, but Juliet wasn’t inclined to complain when it was such a good flavour of its own. Although, the flavour seemed to be fading, leaving nothing but ice, which didn’t seem right at all. Propping one foreleg-er-arm against the wheel, Juliet poked and stirred her slush to see where all the flavour went.

For the first time ever, another car beast howled as it charged past them, veering around as it ran off. Taken unawares, Juliet dropped her slush and turned to look behind her. Of course, the first real attack had to come when Juliet was confined to a defenseless meatsack.

_Watch where you’re going! _Her master leaned into the front, paws on the back of the seat so he was almost beside her._ Two hands on the wheel and get back on your side of the road._

Reluctant to turn her back on a foe, Juliet nonetheless followed orders, only to find that without her constant guidance, Impala had strayed onto the other side of the road, directly provoking a confrontation with other car beasts. Swerving back to the proper side, Juliet was glad the road was so deserted. "Impala, I look away once and you immediately disobey. You would be a very bad dog."

Still leaning into the front, her master dropped his head to rest on his (her?) paws. _Maybe we should pull over, I mean, give Baby a rest off the side of the road while you eat and drink._

Speaking of drink made Juliet uncomfortably aware of the slush soaking into the clothing covering her borrowed form. It was cold and wet and another feeling she lacked the words to name — something like when her master had made cakes-in-a-pan and covered them in something sweet and it had gotten all over her fur. That had felt almost the same before she traveled through shadows and left the sweet stuff in the realm between.

As she guided the car beast to the side of the road, Juliet had a thought. "Master, you were right. Slush was a very bad idea. Are there any clean body coverings in the car beast that I could wear instead of the cold and wet ones?"

_Yeah, my bag’s in the trunk, but you’d be putting on clean clothes over sticky skin. It wouldn’t fix much._

"Oh, I just need to get the — what’s the word? Sticky? I need to get the sticky ones off so I can lick the skin clean before I put on clean ones."

The doubt and quick thinking she sensed from her master, as he leaned down to take a closer look, didn’t feel very reassuring. _Yeah, uh, Juliet? Human tongues aren’t meant for baths. Sticky stuff just stays sticky if you lick it. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure my body can’t bend that way._

"Are you sure? Maybe you just weren’t doing it right."

_Yeah, I’m sure. Look, it’s getting kinda late and I don’t want you driving in the dark. There should be a town coming up soon, so let’s just worry about making it that far. We can find a motel so you can shower and sleep once we’re there, but first, would you mind opening up a packet of jerky for me? I’m kinda starving._

Without hesitation, Juliet opened the jerky with the fire on the front and offered it all to her master. It had been fine to eat when she was a ‘hound, so she didn’t think her master would have any trouble with it. While he ate, Juliet followed her master’s instructions, drinking some of the water and eating a less angry piece of dried meat. She had no idea what showering was and she’d never slept before, but hopefully they were ultimately less disappointing than slush.


	5. Chapter 5

Considering how things had gone at the gas station, Dean wasn't holding out much hope for the motel office. Juliet was trying, he had to give her that, but he could really do with fewer people thinking he was into puppy play. Sure, kink and let kink and all that (who was he and his porn collection to judge), but just _nope_. At least gas station attendants and seedy motel clerks were probably used to dealing with their fair shares of weirdos. 

Trying to be more mindful of the cramped quarters of the office this time—knocking down the chips display hadn't been one of his finer moments—Dean followed Juliet up to the counter, hoping she'd stick to the script word for word this time.

_Remember, just say you want a single room for one night. _

Juliet nodded, thankfully not responding out loud to him, and smiled at the clerk, some twenty-something kid who looked (and smelled) stoned out of his mind. "Hello. I would like a single room for one night, please." 

Dean sighed in relief. _Good. Don't say anything else until he does. He doesn't need to know about you needing to shower or whatever. _

Juliet huffed and rolled her eyes. Luckily, the clerk was too busy on the computer checking the room availability. 

"Sure, dude. It'll be sixty-three, plus tax. Can I get a name for the room?

"Juliet—Uh."

"Julietta?"

So much for their planned alias. _Tell him that's your last name. Your first name can be...Dean. Just go with Dean Julietta. _ Hopefully that would be easy enough to remember.

"Yes! Julietta is my human last name." So close. "My human _first_ name is Dean!"

The clerk peered at Juliet and his eyebrow raised, then he shrugged. "Rock on, man. Alrighty, Dean Julietta, just need you to sign this…" A receipt whirred out of the decades old printer, and he slid it across the counter with a pen.

Juliet had a moment of panic as she picked up the pen. Dean raised himself up on his haunches, thumping his forelegs on the counter so he could get a better view of the paper. The clerk blinked and stared in the direction of the sound. 

"You hear that?" he asked.

She glared in Dean's general direction, clearly disappointed in his lack of stealth. Whatever. He might not be acing it as a hellhound, but it wasn't like she was knocking it out of the park as a human, either.

_You didn't hear anything! _

Her eyes widened as if to say, _But I did, Master!_, as if scandalized he wanted her to lie. 

"My hearing abilities aren't very good anymore," she said, primly, at last. "I don't know how humans can survive like this. Your senses are so _dull_."

The clerk considered Juliet for a minute, then leaned across the counter. "Hey, if you're looking for something that'll, uh, help expand your senses…"

Juliet's face lit up in interest. "Like what?"

_No, Juliet! He's talking about drugs! You do NOT want drugs! _

She leaned back from the counter. "Oh, I mean, no. Thank you. Just one single room for one night, please, sir."

The clerk shrugged. "Your loss. Cash or card?"

_Cash. Tell him cash._ Dean had already had her sort and count out twenties in the car; he'd banked on paying cash for the motel in case they asked for an ID, since he didn't have one that matched any of his credit cards, and he definitely didn't have one for 'Dean Julietta’.

"Cash!" Juliet grinned as she pulled out the wallet. Her smile faltered for a second but Dean jumped in as soon as he could.

_Give him four of the paper bills on top that we counted out before. He'll give you some back. _

"Why—" she started to say, but then she clamped her mouth shut, obviously remembering Dean's admonishments earlier not to talk to him while they were in public.

_Because the four bills is worth more than what the room costs. So he has to give you some bills worth less to make up the difference. _

Her brow furrowed but there was no way he was launching into a full explanation of paper currency right now. She carefully counted out the bills and held them out to the clerk with a big goofy smile. He accepted them and made change while Dean directed Juliet on signing the receipt. She held the pen in her whole fist, but he managed to get her to scribble something on the line. The clerk handed her the change and a room key, informing them that check out was at eleven and that room thirty-six was down to the left, and then they were free.

_You did good, Juliet. I think you're starting to get the hang of this_, he said as they got back into Baby to move her down to the room.

"Thank you! And you were pretty good, too, though you could be sneakier."

_Hey, I'm trying. At least I didn't knock anything over this time. _

"Yes, that was good. Master, what are drugs and why don't we want them? Wouldn't it be better if humans could have better senses, like 'hounds? You really are very limited like this."

Dean sighed and prepared to give the first ever D.A.R.E. lesson for hellhounds. 

"So is human blood a drug? And then adding other drugs is too much?" Juliet wondered as she opened up the door and allowed Dean to trot in the room ahead of her.

He was immediately hit by the strong smells of cheap cleaning products, cigarette smoke (despite the _No Smoking_ signs posted around the place), and that musty, sweaty motel scent that he'd just learned to live with but was now about a thousand times worse in this form, and so it took him a second to process what Juliet had asked. Whuffing out as much of the motel room air from his nose as he could, he paused near the bed and cocked his head. _What? _

"Well, my former master was...what was the word you used? 'Addicted'? He would put human blood in himself and then he'd act strangely and he always wanted more."

_Oh. That._ Now that he thought about it, that must have been a weird-ass time for Juliet. Hell, it was a weird-ass time for them, where Crowley was concerned, and they at least knew what was going on. _Yeah, I guess it was like a drug. But that would only work on demons. _

"I thought demons could control their meatsuits better. Meat bodies are very disappointing."

_Well, they have their perks._ His mind started to drift towards some of those perks, particularly those currently housing a certain Angel of the Lord, before his stomach dropped. Metaphorically, that is. It felt more like his hellhound insides had started simmering strangely. _Shit, we gotta call Cas and Sam about this. _

Juliet put the duffel bag on top of the mini-fridge—not the bureau/TV stand, which had plenty of room, or the bed, or even the small kitchen table, but the mini-fridge—and pulled out his phone from a jeans pocket. "Call them on the phone thing?" 

_You can just call it a phone, but yeah. _

"Should I call Samoose or Cas? I like Samoose but Cas always seems to understand me better. But Samoose is very smart. He could help." 

_Hold on. We gotta figure out what we're even going to tell them. _

He was already imagining Sam's reaction to this and was 100% _not_ looking forward to getting shit about it for the rest of his life. But admitting to his whatever-Cas-was that he was currently stuck in a hellhound body while his damn dog was parading his ass around was something he didn't want to think too hard about either. Cas would probably be all nice and sympathetic about it. Ugh. Then again, Cas was also a snarky bastard who might just join Sam in the laughing-his-ass-off party.

Juliet was pressing the phone's side buttons and seemed disappointed nothing was happening and he was about to tell her she had to press the button on the front when the AC unit kicked on and he got a whiff of burnt rubber and dust. He shook his head. _Damn, how do you guys deal with all these smells? This shit's gross. _

She looked up and wrinkled her nose. "How do you humans survive _without_ smells? When a 'hound goes noseblind—like Brutus—they can't hunt anymore or protect their masters."

Dean had a feeling that a demon master's definition of "retirement" or putting a pet down was probably way crappier than a human's (though there were some terrible pet owners out there, to be fair), so he was hesitant to ask, but he was curious. _And, uh, what happened to Brutus?_

Juliet frowned, still poking at the phone. She pressed the front button and got the screen to light up, but her jabs with her pointer finger at the screen didn't do anything and it just went dark again. "This phone thing is being difficult," she sighed. "My former master let Brutus go to the kennels. Connall lets him help with the pups. He's a good demon. Very 'hound-like." She tilted her head, creasing her brow. "Brutus is the only old 'hound in the kennels, though. I don't know what other demon masters do. I wouldn't have wanted some of the other demons as a master. They're very stupid."

_Crowley was a good master, huh?_

Juliet nodded. "The best." Her eyes went wide. "For a demon. You're the best _human_ master."

_Gee, thanks. _

"You're welcome!"

Dean paced around the room, then settled on his haunches by one of the beds. Juliet took his cue and sat on the edge of the bed, and Dean could only hope it was his super 'hound hearing that made it sound like his human body was an old hardwood floor with a few loose boards. 

"Human bodies don't like standing very long, do they?"

_Nah. They don't like sitting too long either. _

She shook her head, clearly perpetually perplexed by the human species and their continued survival. He couldn't really blame her.

_You miss Crowley, don't you? _ He put his head by her thigh and she scratched behind his ears. 

"Yes. He was a good master. He raised me and trained me from a pup."

_Bet you were real confused when you got stuck with me. Sorry about that. I was kind of a shit master for a while, huh? _

"It was confusing. I thought I'd done something wrong, that he'd sent me away. And you weren't...a master of shit? I don't know why you'd want to be a master of that."

He wished he could roll his eyes, but he settled for a huff of amusement. _No, I mean, I wasn't a good master at first. _

"You just had to be trained." 

_Trained, right._ He closed his eyes to enjoy the head scratching a bit. _And you didn't do anything wrong. Crowley wouldn't have sent you away like that._ He opened his eyes again and nosed her hand. _I miss him, too. _

She nodded. "I know. He wouldn't have sent me to someone he didn't trust or like. Even if you did forget how to be a demon and he was sad when you left."

It figured that the only...person...he could really talk to about his ex(?) was a hellhound. Sam never got it—not that Dean had wanted to share many details—and while he had a feeling Cas did get it, that wasn't really something he wanted to discuss with him for obvious reasons.

Juliet's hand rubbed an ear again and then stilled and went back to playing with the phone. "So how _do_ you call someone with the phone thing? Is it like the car beast? Is there a ritual to perform?"

_Sort of._

It took them a few minutes and false starts for him to explain how to unlock the phone and pull up the voice commands. She grinned as the phone started to ring and he explained how to put it on speakerphone.

"This is much easier than the Impala-beast. It listens much better."

_Yeah, all hail Siri. _

"Hello? Dean?" Cas' voice rumbled over the phone. His instinct after so many years would have been to call Sam, but since Juliet felt more comfortable with Cas and she was going to be doing all the speaking, that's who'd they'd gone with. 

"Hi, Cas!"

Dean could almost hear Cas' frown. "Are you alright? You were supposed to check in hours ago."

_Tell him you're ok. And then explain what's going on with us. _

"I'm ok! But this isn't Dean. It's Juliet. My master is here, though."

"...what?"

_Tell him the witch swapped our bodies. Don't forget the amulet or hex—the metal thing by the basement stairs that we touched. _

"The witch used bad magic on a metal thing by the basement stairs that we touched—I tried to stop my master but then we fell and touched it, I think. It made us switch bodies. She wasn't a very good witch. Not like magic/tea Rowena. Now I'm in my master's body—human bodies are even more useless than I thought—and he's in mine. He's sitting right here, like a good 'hound."

_Yeah that's an important detail. My 'hound abilities… _

"I think he wishes he could talk to you."

There was a pause and then Cas let out a chuckle. "Wait. You're...you're _actually_ Juliet?"

"Of course. I just said that."

"Yes, yes, apologies." Dean barked a little so Cas could hear him. "Was that… Dean?" Another bark. "Hello, Dean. And hello, Juliet. It's nice to be able to actually talk to you. And I would agree: human bodies are very frustrating. I spent some time as a human. Urination was particularly annoying."

_Cas! You gotta be shitting me… How is this my fucking life... _

"Right? We had to make a stop to feed Impala and I had to use the room with the white bowl thing and—"

_Enough!! We are NOT talking about how you had to take a piss! _

"My master says we can't talk about this anymore."

"He's probably correct. Dean, I'm assuming you can hear me—Are you ok? What did this witch do? Do I need to come get you?"

_Tell him I'm ok, we can make it back on our own, and I'm not sure exactly what the witch did but it looked like she was trying to make neighborhood pets into familiars. _

"He says he's ok, we can make it back on our own, and that the bad-witch was trying to make familiars from cats and dogs. They were not-good. They're all in the basement of the house."

"I see. Familiars have complex relationships with their masters. It's not something that can be easily manufactured, and certainly not out of common pets. Sam and Eileen are a few hours north of there. I can call them and tell them to investigate the house before they come back to the Bunker. When will you be back?"

At least as far as this was concerned, Cas was on the same page and he didn't have to try and relay that all through Juliet.

_Say we'll be back by noon tomorrow and that we have a motel room. _

"I don't know what noon means, but my master says that's when we'll be back to the Bunker Palace. I talked to a man and got us a single room for one night," she recited, puffing out her chest a bit at remembering her orders from before. "I'm going to try sleeping. I hope it's not as disappointing as the rest of being human. Oh! But I can roll my eyes! That's been a good thing. Cas, did you learn to roll your eyes when you were a human? Or can angels do that, too?"

"Angels express that in other ways in our true forms, but we are very fond of rolling our eyes when we are in human vessels. I'm glad you got to experience that, Juliet," Cas said, obviously amused, and Dean couldn't help but grin to himself. "And you will be...driving the Impala?"

To Juliet, this probably just sounded like a question of fact, but Dean heard the implicit question of whether Dean truly was ok if he was letting his hellhound drive his beloved car. 

"Yes! My master says I'm a very good driver, now that the Impala-beast listens to me."

"Oh yes. Baby can be very difficult to handle."

_You shut your damn mouth, Cas. Baby is a treasure and you show her some respect…_ Even though Cas couldn't hear him, and he knew Cas was just saying that to get a rise out of him, he wasn't going to just let that slide. 

"Dean and Juliet, I hope you have a good night. I'll call Sam. Do you want me to tell him what's happened to you or just say that you and Juliet had to leave quickly and are headed back to the Bunker?"

Dean whuffed a sigh. He'd rather not tell Sam at all, but if he and Eileen were going to check out the witch's house, it made sense to give them all the information they had so they knew what to look for. _Yeah, he can tell Sam. _

"My master says to tell Samoose."

"...Samoose?" Dean could picture Cas' eyes crinkling at the corners in a smile. "I'll be sure to tell...Samoose."

Dean hoped Juliet couldn't hear him as he tried to pray in Cas' general direction, _Don't tell Sam about the Samoose thing. Don't tell him. He needs to hear it on his own. Don't tell him… _

He wasn't sure if the message got through but he had to try. _Tell Cas good night and that I miss him. _

"My master says he misses you and good night? It seems like a normal night, but I suppose it's good."

"Good night, Dean. And good night, Juliet. It was a pleasure talking to you. I hope you like sleeping."

"Thank you!"

Cas hung up and Juliet continued to hold the phone out until Dean showed her how to close out of the call. They dug out his charger and plugged in the phone. The little LED light glowed red to charge and Dean stared at it for a second, feeling a little relieved now that they'd talked to Cas, even if he couldn't really _talk_ to Cas right now. It was nice to know he had people a phone call away.

"What's next, Master? Sleeping?"

Dean grimaced, eyeing the slush-stained jeans. _No. Shower. _

"This seems so unnecessarily complicated. Tongues are so much easier for cleaning," Juliet said from the other side of the shower curtain. "But the hot water is nice." 

_The hot water pressure at the Bunker is even better. _

"Really? I would like that."

_Even as a 'hound? _

"'Hounds love things that are hot." She had a point: the steam from the shower felt pretty nice. "But you never want me to go in the water room, especially when you go in there with Cas."

_Yeah, humans are weird like that. We like to be alone—or with just one other person we trust in a special way—when we're naked, in the shower or in other places._ Well, maybe not always just one other person, but he wasn't gonna explain orgies to her.

"Humans _are_ weird." There was the sound of a bottle clunking to the ground and the curtain rustled outward as she bent to pick it up. "Ah! Master! The soap stuff is in my eyes! I can't see! It's burning, but a bad burning!"

_Get your face under the water, wash the shampoo out. Get the soap off your hands before you rub your eyes. You'll be ok. It'll sting for a bit, but you'll be fine. _ He trotted over to the sink and grabbed a facecloth between his teeth. _Here_, he said, nosing back the curtain and holding it up to a squinty and sudsy Juliet.

"Does this always happen when you shower?" she asked as she accepted the towel and as Dean pulled the curtain closed again. "Is this why Samoose needs face glass? Because he hurt his eyes so much washing his hair? Eileen's hair is much longer but she only needs face glass to see me. She must be better at washing hair than him."

Dean let out a bark of amusement. _That's—no, sometimes people just need glasses because their eyes aren't as good. But if you're really worried, you should tell Sam to cut his hair, just in case. _

"He might be safer that way."

Shampoo crisis averted, Juliet got cleaned up (Dean was just going to pretend he hadn't had to instruct his hellhound how to wash his...everything) and toweled off. She was confused as to why she needed to put on different clothing to sleep until she tried on his pj pants.

"They're so soft! So much more comfortable than the other ones."

_Yeah, but they'd be terrible in a fight. They tear apart too easily. _

She nodded wisely, running a hand down her thigh, feeling the fabric. "That's smart, protecting your meatsuit." She finished getting dressed with a fresh black t-shirt and then went over to the bed, pulling back the covers and getting in, like she'd obviously seen him do every night. "How does sleep work?"

_Great question,_ he answered, thinking of his many sleepless nights—though those had gotten fewer and farther between now that he spent his nights with Cas by his side and Juliet at the end of the bed. _Just, uh, turn off the light, and get comfortable, and close your eyes, and take deep, slow breaths. _

"Ok." She did just that, except she sounded like a little kid pretending to be asleep. After a few minutes, she cracked open an eye. "I don't think it's working."

_Sometimes it takes a while. Try not to think of things. _

"But there's so _much_ to think about! And if I sleep, I can't be on watch and—"

_Shh, Juliet._ Knowing he was going to regret this when they got back to their usual selves, Dean climbed up on the bed on the other side. _I'm gonna try something. C'mere, roll onto your stomach._ She did, and he nosed her arm, smelling the citrusy motel soap, until it was draped loosely around him. _Sometimes doing something repetitive can help. Try patting me. And keep breathing slowly. _

"Ok, Master."

Her thumb rubbed at the base of his ear and her fingers gently rolled in the scruff of his neck. If he were a hellcat, he would've purred. He had a feeling that when they got all of this sorted out, she and Cas were going to be competing for the other half of the bed. (Cas would win, but if he was ever away, Dean might relent and let Juliet snag his spot for the night.) 

Her breathing slowed to a more natural rhythm and she finally nodded off. Dean settled down himself, not really sleeping, but kind of zoning out. Through the thin walls he could hear the road like the cars were zipping by just feet away, the electric hum of the vending machine down by the office, the slam of a door and raised voices of a man and a woman (nothing too concerning, though, just a squabble). It was a familiar soundtrack, one that would have normally put him right to sleep, but tonight it was his turn to guard the sleeping human.


	6. Chapter 6

The trip back to the Bunker Palace was much easier after food and rest, and given how well Impala responded to her commands, the car beast felt the same about it. Her master managed to intimidate the other car beasts without even barking very much, leaving Juliet free to concentrate on controlling Impala. According to her master, they made good time — though she still had no idea how one could possibly “make” time.

Everything was going so well, Juliet’s master instructed her to give the car beast a tape — which was apparently what the music rectangles were called — because the radio wouldn’t stop making angry noises. Music was a definite improvement over angry radio noises. Though Juliet didn’t know the words in most of the songs, she was able to hum along, and it only took two songs before she figured out how to match the music sounds with a human voice.

In the back seat, her master felt smug. _I knew I was a better singer than people said. You sound great, Juliet._

“Thank you, Master, but unfortunately, the people are right about your singing. I don’t know why I can match the sounds with this form and you can’t. Do you have a curse on you that might stop the music from wanting to work properly? Maybe try singing as a ‘hound.”

_What? I’m not— That doesn’t even make sense. I’m a great singer._

“Oh, I’m sorry. I must have misunderstood when Samoose said I was a better singer than you. Maybe he meant that we’re both good singers and he just likes my singing better.” Juliet still privately thought there was something wrong with her master’s singing ability, but he obviously wanted to think he was good at it, so she was willing to concede that maybe she’d been wrong. Just to be safe, though, she’d ask the Bunker Palace to check him for curses later.

_Sam wouldn’t know good singing if it hit him in the face. _He must have stopped concentrating hard enough to project his thoughts, because after that, Juliet could only make out the words “Ladyheart” and “hair rock”, whatever that meant. _Anyway, Sam’s got shitty taste in music._

Juliet nodded dutifully. “Yes, Master, you’re probably right.”

A new song started and it was one of the few that she’d heard often enough, and was simple enough for Juliet to have memorized all the words, even if she didn’t understand what they meant. Without really thinking about it, she sang along.

_“You need coolin’ baby, I’m not foolin’_  
_I’m gonna send you back to schoolin’_  
_Way down inside honey, you need it_  
_I’m going to give you my love_  
_I’m going to give you my love”_  


Though her master didn’t say anything at first, he whimpered and reached a paw towards the radio tape thing. _—turn it off._

“Why, Master?”

_You probably shouldn’t be singing that song. It’s uh… not…suitable for ‘hounds._

Juliet still didn’t have a name for what her master was feeling, but she was beginning to think of it as the ‘I don’t wanna talk about it’ feeling. “But why not?”

_I think if you knew what the song was actually about— _He stopped and stared straight ahead. _Look! We’re almost home! Y’know, you go ahead and sing. I’m just gonna see if I can roll down the window._

Juliet shrugged, delighted in her ability to do so, and waited for the song to finish doing the weird no-words thing so she could keep singing. “Use your snout to push the turning thing up and use your paw to push it down.”

It didn’t take her clever master very long at all to figure it out. Juliet was proud of him for learning advanced ‘hound skills. “Well done, Master! Most ‘hounds have difficulties with things like that.”

There was no response. Sneaking a glance in the tiny top mirror, she could immediately see why. Her master had his head out the window, tongue lolling out and fur blowing in the wind. It was good that he could experience such a satisfying thing. Juliet smiled — the involuntary act of smiling suddenly making so much more sense — and went back to singing, though she wasn’t finished with the song when her master barked excitedly.

_There! Turn there, that’s the way home!_

Sure enough, everything outside was familiar. If she wasn’t still nose-blind, she’d have been able to smell all the little creatures in the woods near the Bunker Palace. “I guess I won’t get to finish the song. Oh, but it’ll be waiting for us next time.”

Head still out the window, and apparently in a better mood, her master said, _Don’t worry about trying to get Baby into the garage. Cas can take care of it once we get in. Just park over by the door._

Well, that was a relief. Leaving Impala to sleep outside, Juliet opened the door for her master and retrieved his bag. She wasn’t two steps away from the car beast before her master took the bag from her in his jaws. “What are you doing, Master? Carrying your bag is my job.”

_I’m the ‘hound now, right? So it’s my job to carry the bag and it’s your job to unlock the door. C’mon, let’s go._

She couldn’t exactly argue with that. Well, she could, but her master was absolutely correct, so arguing would have been pointless. Key in hand, she was just about to unlock the door when it swung open to reveal Cas, who — like everyone else now — didn’t smell like anything. Juliet missed his sunshine.

“Juliet, Dean, I thought I heard y—”

Determined to greet him properly, Juliet dropped her paws on Cas’ shoulders and licked his face, even though his cheek felt prickly under her tongue.

_Whoa whoa whoa! Cool it, Jules!_

Suddenly uncertain, Juliet froze with her paws-err-hands on Cas’ shoulders and her nose nearly touching his cheek. “I’m sorry, Cas. I did it wrong. This isn’t the proper human greeting, is it?”

“It’s alright, I understand,” replied Cas, gently pushing Juliet away. “Here, why don’t I show you how it’s supposed to work.”

Though she’d been hugged before, Juliet had been in a four-legged form, so when Cas wrapped his arms around her, she didn’t know what she was supposed to do. Maybe the idea was to sniff? Being so close to Cas _did_ make it easier for her sad human nose to smell his sunshine/the-smell-before-it-rains scent, though for whatever reason she couldn’t smell his magic.

Her master’s snout nudged at her arm. _This is where you’re supposed to hug back._

“Oh! Like this?” Juliet copied Cas, wrapping her arms around him and pressing her hands against his back. Hugs were nice, but it was even nicer being able to give that feeling back.

“Yes, exactly. Uh, you can let go now.”

“Okay!” Stepping back, Juliet turned and hugged her master. “I’m sorry you can’t hug me back, Master. I understand why you do it now, though. Touching is nice. Is that why you sometimes take off all your clothing and—”

Her master interrupted with a loud bark at the same time as Cas said, “That’s another thing we’re not supposed to talk about.”

“Oh.”

“You must’ve been driving for hours. How about we go inside and have something to eat?”

Food sounded like a very good idea. Unfortunately, the moment she and her master stepped inside, the lights turned red and a loud noise made her ears hurt. She wanted to lay her ears back against her head, but human ears were terribly designed, much like the rest of the human form.

Cas looked around and frowned. “The warding must have picked up something to do with your body swap, though I’m not sure how.”

_Juliet? What smells like someone threw glitter on a portal to another universe?_

“What?” Following her master’s gaze only showed he was staring at a wall. “Oh, you must mean magic.”

“What magic?”

“Oh right, I forgot you can’t hear him. My master was just asking about a smell, but now that I think about it, maybe it’s the Bunker Palace. It’s probably not very happy about me riding around in your meatsuit, Master, especially since you don’t know how to play fetch with it.”

There was a long silence — or at least a long moment of nothing but loud red sounds — before her master rather firmly projected, _WHAT?!_

“Our home. The Bunker Palace. It’s alive and it protects us and plays fetch with me and it was supposed to be a secret. Never mind, forget I said anything.”

Juliet looked from her master to Cas and back to her master, but neither of them showed any signs of forgetting, which seemed terribly inconsiderate of them. 

_Okay, there’s a whole lot to unpack there. It’s alive? Wait, no. It plays fetch??_

Cas stared at the wall all squinty, one hand raised to not-touch. “I always knew there was something not quite right here, but I never suspected…”

_Yeah, but is it J.A.R.V.I.S. or HAL 9000?_

“Neither of those, Master. It’s the Bunker Palace. I guess it might have a name of its own, but I don’t think it can talk. Then again, I couldn’t talk before yesterday, but I still had thoughts. Maybe the Bunker Palace just needs whatever you have that lets you make words.”

“Juliet.” With his lips all squished together and his forehead scrunched up, Cas looked like he was unhappy in some way, though Juliet couldn’t quite pinpoint what kind of unhappy, since she was still learning to interpret faces. He took a deep breath before continuing, “I can’t hear what Dean is saying unless you tell me.”

“Right. You need me to tell you what he says. That’s going to be hard to get used to. Not that I want to get used to this. Human meatsuits are so limited. I miss being able to smell things properly, and I can’t do anything to make the loud red noise less painful.” While she spoke, she tried in vain to move her borrowed ears.

Cas dragged a hand down over his face. “Alright, here’s what we’re going to do. Dean, try praying to me. I think I can still hear your prayers in that form. Juliet, try talking to the, uh, Bunker Palace. Explain what’s happened and why it doesn’t need to sound a red alert. I’ll see if I can disable the alarms, just in case you can’t get through to it.”

Talk to the Bunker Palace? Before, it had just seemed to know what she was thinking, and it never revealed itself to the humans or even Cas, the angel in a human meatsuit. Maybe the Bunker Palace couldn’t scan human thoughts. Maybe it couldn’t actually understand language at all and only knew how to understand Juliet when she was a ‘hound.

Before the what ifs could make the whole thing seem hopeless, Juliet snarled at them, which unfortunately looked like she was snarling at Cas. “Umm, I’ll try. It might not work, but that’s why you’re going to try another way, right? Right. Sorry about snarling at you. I wasn’t _actually _snarling at you. I was snarling at not-helpful thoughts to make them be quiet.”

She might have kept talking, but Cas patted her on the shoulder and said, “It’s okay, Juliet. Just do your best.”

Her best? She could do that. Juliet always did her best.

Walking away from the others — just in case the Bunker Palace wanted her to be alone like she usually was when it played with her — Juliet pressed a hand against a wall. “Hello, Bunker Palace Home. This is probably very confusing. I know I’m confused about it and I’ve had some time to get used to it. My master and I have been forced to trade our material forms, which is undoubtedly what’s bothering you. Please stop making your loud red noises and maybe you can help us make things right again.”

She waited. The noises kept being loud and the lights stayed red. However, there was a sort of fuzzy jumble of sound in the back of her head that attempted to resolve itself into almost-words when she focused on it. Weird…the Bunker Palace sounded kind of like her master.

When Juliet figured out the truth, she sighed. “I thought I was finally able to hear you, Bunker Palace, but it’s just my master trying to make Cas hear his word-thoughts. I wish you could talk. Finally being able to say things in a way people can understand is the only good part about being in a squishy meatbag.” Thinking back over the past day, she amended, “Also hot showers and sleep and hugs. Those are also good.”

Without warning, the loud red noise stopped being loud and red. It also stopped being noise. Giving the wall a pat, Juliet rejoined her master and Cas. “Thank you for making it stop, Cas. I tried talking to the Bunker Palace, but I don’t think it can hear me anymore.”

Cas shook his head. “Actually, Juliet, I don’t think that was me. I tried turning it off mechanically and nothing happened. I was going to try using my powers on it when it turned off on its own.”

_Mostly, he was just listening to me. Turns out Cas can hear my prayers even when I’m a fiery helldog, go figure._

“Then that means—” She broke off when her fetch ball rolled across the floor and bumped against her boot. “Thank you, Bunker Palace! We are all very grateful to you for making the loud red sound go away. I can’t play fetch in this form, but if— I mean when we figure out how to fix our problem, I would really like to play fetch with you.”

Both her master and Cas stared at the ball. Her master was oddly silent, but Cas asked, “Juliet? What else does the Bunker Palace do?”

“The Bunker Palace is my friend and can do so many things! It keeps monsters out, it helped me hide your Kriss Mess presents so you wouldn’t find them early, and it even moves the rooms around to confuse intruders. I didn’t like that part when I first got here, but it’s nice now. I like knowing the Bunker Palace is helping me protect you.”

_So that’s why none of us can agree on the shortest route to the kitchen._

Cas’ eyebrows rose in search of his hair, maybe because eyebrows are hair, too. “What sort of being could do all that without my sensing it? It should have been impossible.”

“I don’t know, but I’m feeling an uncomfortable empty feeling in the middle of my meatsuit again. Can we eat food now?”

“I suppose so. We can talk more about this after. I hope you like PB&J.”

“What is a peabean jay?”

_Only the best food ever when you need a pick-me-up._

Juliet wasn’t sure why anyone would need to be picked up, but she trusted her master’s judgement where human foods were concerned.

“It was my favourite food when I was human.” Cas picked up the bag from where her master had dropped it on the floor. “I’ll show you how to make it.”

“After peabean jay can I try a water shower here? My master said good things about the water in the Bunker Palace.”

Her master and Cas looked at each other and in the back of her head she heard the almost-words again. Cas nodded. “I think that would be a good idea.”

The ball hadn’t been reclaimed by the Bunker Palace, so Juliet scooped it up before following Cas. Just because she couldn’t play properly with the Bunker Palace didn’t mean the ball was useless. Maybe human fetch would be more fun in a human form.


	7. Chapter 7

As much as Dean loved being home, finding out that the Bunker was alive-ish was too much for him to handle at the moment, and so he managed to convince Juliet and Cas to go outside to run around. Well, he wanted to run around at least. What was the point of having a badass hellhound body if he didn't get to use it? He didn't think he was ready to try out fetch Bunker-Juliet style (whatever that meant), but a good ol' tennis ball and a human arm should work. Assuming Juliet or Cas could throw.

Yes, he wanted to play catch like a damn dog. But guys going out to throw a ball around was totally normal, right? Not that Dean could say his life had ever been normal—case in point, he was currently a fiery hellmutt. ('Course Juliet would probably scoff and say 'purebreed', but whatever, not the point.)

"I think I liked PB&J," Juliet was saying as Cas opened the door to the outside, except it sounded like she was saying "PB&" as all one word; he wondered what she thought the word was or meant. "I didn't expect it to be so sticky in my mouth, though."

Cas gave him a sidelong look and Dean smirked to himself. They were just gonna let that one slide.

"I'm glad, Juliet. Especially since I don't think my cooking skills are anywhere near Dean's. I'm sure he would have made you a burger if he could have."

_Aw man, now I want a burger…_ He thought-prayed. Doing double mental duty was kind of a pain—literally. Hellhound brains weren't exactly wired for prayer, it would seem. He wasn't sure how long he was going to be able to keep this up. At least communication with Juliet was still strong because of the witch's spell. It'd been a little tricky at the beginning, but now it was second-nature.

"That's ok, Master. Maybe you can tell me how to make one. It can't be any harder than learning how to get Impala beast to listen to me, right?"

_We'll see._ Juliet in her normal body wouldn't particularly mind if everything got set on fire, but Dean wasn't sure he was ready to let Juliet near something burnable while she was walking around in his skin. He'd like his ass back in one non-charred piece, thank you very much.

It was gorgeous out and Dean's new schnoz was bombarded with all sorts of new scents—he hadn't really noticed until now how sterile and recycled the Bunker air was by comparison. The dirt and the grass, the furry critters not far away in the woods… He inhaled deeply, taking it all in and mentally mapping the location of each smell. Nothing seemed threatening, though, so he trotted along with Juliet and Cas.

They walked to a mostly flat expanse of grass behind the old power plant, moving far enough away from the radius of concrete and broken glass around the structure. Some less-than artistic teens had apparently tried to tag the back wall with obnoxious neon spray paint, but it abruptly stopped halfway through the design and there were rusted out spray paint cans on the ground. Dean hoped it was just the cops or something else that had made the kids run, and not the "Bunker Palace" looking for a midnight snack.

Juliet stopped and held up the tennis ball. "Samoose tried to play fetch with me once with this. But he wasn't as good as my former master. Or the Bunker Palace. He could only throw as far as for a pup still learning to fetch."

Dean ignored her in favor of taking the stretch of land at a run. The sun was warm on his fur and his muscles moved effortlessly as he raced. Nervous at first because of the rocky and bumpy terrain, he ran with his nose and eyes close to the ground, but he soon found that letting muscle memory and 'hound instinct and balance take charge was way easier, and so he opened up. His legs stretched out as he bound faster and faster. It felt _good_ to move like this, to let his body do what it was designed for.

He would never tell Sam in a million years that he enjoyed running like this. He'd blame it entirely on weird hellhound contamination.

He reached the treeline and, as tempting as it was to leap over the fallen log in front of him and take the woods like an obstacle course, he instead turned and raced back to Juliet and Cas, skidding to a stop in the dusty grass.

Juliet coughed and waved her hand in front of her face at the plume of dirt while Cas simply raised an eyebrow. Dean wagged his tail and gave his best doggy grin.

"Enjoying yourself?" Cas asked.

_Absofuckinglutely. Don't wanna stay like this forever, but Juliet, I gotta hand it to ya—being a hellhound is pretty awesome._

"Of course it is," she sniffed.

_Yeah, alright, throw the ball. Hard as you can. Just like Samoose. _

"Ok, Master."

Juliet raised her arm back awkwardly and put a leg in front of the other and did her best impression of that kid in _Sandlot_ before he learns how to actually throw. Internally, he groaned, but refrained from thinking at her, _You're killing me, Smalls!_, though whether it was to avoid hurting her feelings or to avoid explaining the reference was a toss-up. He could throw a ball—probably coulda played varsity if he'd been around long enough or had actually had time to give a shit at any particular school—but Juliet in his body…

She let loose and the ball traveled a pitiful three feet directly into the ground. She frowned. "It should have gone farther than that."

_Maybe Samoose wasn't actually that bad at fetch, for a human._ He couldn't help but tease her a little, even if she probably wouldn't get it.

She nodded. "He's more skilled than I thought."

"Perhaps I could show her?" Cas suggested, walking over to pick up the ball.

_You know how to throw a ball?_ If Dean had an eyebrow to raise, it would've been so arched.

"I've existed for millennia, Dean. I'm trained in hand-to-hand combat, can throw an angel blade with deadly accuracy, and have been in a human vessel for a decade. I think I can throw a tennis ball."

_Uh huh. I'll believe it when I see it. Bring it, Halo. Show me what you got._

Cas' form was certainly better than Juliet's but there was no way he'd be taking the mound in the MLB or even a youth league any time soon. He also doubted that Jimmy had been much of a player if Cas was using any leftover vessel muscle memory. (He'd never been sure how much, if anything, Cas had picked up from Jimmy.) The ball soared, bright against the sky, and Dean took off in pursuit. His hellhound brain and instincts seemed to calculate the trajectory instantly and he only had to look up occasionally to make sure he was on track. At the last moment, he leapt up, twisted, and caught the ball in his mouth, his jaws closing securely on its fuzzy surface, but not hard enough to puncture it.

He landed and looked back at Juliet and Cas. He was...much, _much_ farther away than he'd expected. At least a couple of football fields.

"That was a good throw, Cas."

_You cheated!_ he called as he bounded back.

Cas smirked. "You said to show you what I got. So I did." He accepted the ball back when Dean reached him, ignoring the extra spit Dean had made sure to add just because. "I also wasn't aware that we were playing by league rules or anything of the sort. Though I seriously doubt there are any clauses about angelic powers."

_Yeah, whatever, McGwire. Still cheating._

"I don't know who that is," Cas said as Juliet asked, "Who is McGwire? Is that what we're calling Cas now?"

_Nevermind and no, we're not calling Cas that now._ He shook his head. The pair of 'em…

They played a few more rounds of "human fetch", as Juliet called it, and Dean was finally able to get Juliet to throw a ball halfway decently. (Cas was hopeless without his powers, though Dean suspected he wasn't trying all that hard to learn.)

Eventually Dean got bored of the game and he could tell Juliet's arm was wearing out. Instead of giving the ball back to Cas, he dropped it at his feet and sat on his haunches and finally wondered out loud(ish) something he'd been wondering for awhile.

_Ok, I gotta ask: how do you do the disappearing trick, Juliet? Is it like 'Beam me up, Scotty?'_ Juliet tilted her head and started to ask, but Dean cut her off. _Don't worry about Scotty. Forget I said that. But really, how do you do it?_

Juliet shrugged. "You just disappear in a shadow into Hell, then return to Earth where you want to be. It's very simple."

_Shortcut through Hell?_ It made sense, but he wasn't exactly stoked about a return trip to the Pit. But there were other places in Hell that were slightly less terrible. Dante hadn't been entirely right with his circles of Hell, but he hadn't been entirely wrong, either. Getting to the Cage had led them down what their human brains had interpreted as a long, long torch-lit staircase and hallway. It'd been pretty empty—no one went near the Cage unless they had a good reason. If he could somehow aim for there or some place like it, he might be ok.

Cas studied him as if he could read his thoughts. "I don't think this is a wise decision. You're new to this body, Dean. You might not be able to control your powers. What if you can't make it back?"

_Tired of rescuing my ass from Hell?_

"That's not—"

_Wait, no, sorry, _Dean cut in, distressed by the look on Cas' face. He'd meant it as a joke, a deflection, but it'd gone over about as well as Sam trying to convince someone that kale was delicious. _Bad memories, I get it. _

And he knew Cas _would_ come for him, but that wasn't fair to ask of him.

He didn't want to completely give up the idea of Hellhound Express, though, not without all the facts.

_Juliet, can you control where in Hell you go?_

"Of course. I just think about it and then I go there."

_And is there a place in Hell where you're safe? Or safer?_

She frowned. "Why would I not be safe in Hell?"

_Even with Crowley gone?_

"Other demons are stupid. And they know to be afraid of me."

"Dean…" Cas pleaded.

_I'm just asking, Cas. But I want to know, just in case._

"In case of _what_ exactly?"

_I'unno, if something happens and I gotta get there quick or I gotta get back up or I dunno...something! There's always something. Better to be prepared._

Cas sighed, then bent to pick up the ball, brushing dirt off with his thumb. "I suppose it's better to try now while there's no threat imminent."

_Don't jinx it. _

"Oh, I know about jinxes! My former master said they're very low types of magic. Even magic/tea Rowena never bothered with them. She preferred hexes and curses." Juliet smiled at them both, seemingly oblivious to the tension between Dean and Cas. Then again, at this point, she was probably used to it. "I don't think a jinx would be helpful for shadow travel, though. Or for warding off threats that aren't even here yet."

_She's not wrong._ A moth flitted by and Dean resisted the urge to snap at it. He somehow felt that that might undermine his position.

Cas nodded to her. "Thank you, Juliet. I'll keep that in mind."

Juliet's eyes also tracked the path of the moth before she said, "My master had a good idea, though. It's very hard to be a good 'hound and protect your humans if you can't even shadow travel. He's been doing very good for being a new 'hound, but he has a lot to learn."

_See? I'm just full of good ideas, Cas._

"You're certainly full of something…" Cas muttered.

_Ha ha. _He looked to Juliet. _Ok, tell me how to shadow travel._ To Cas he added, _I promise I'll make it back._

Cas gave a wry and mostly convincing smile. "I know."

And then Dean told the biggest lie of his life: _I regret showing you Star Wars._

The first thing Dean noticed when he popped into existence again was the heat. Despite his 'hound brain telling him it felt good, his systems were all on high alert. He cocked his ears but couldn't hear any screams of souls being tortured and there didn't seem to be anyone else around, so Juliet's instincts on where to send him seemed to be good so far. All he could see were craggy rocks and the occasional spurt of fire from the ground.

Through their bond, she'd sent him feelings of home and safety attached to Hell, which she assured him had nothing to do with Crowley's headquarters down below as those would likely be overrun with whatever demons were squabbling for the throne. He'd concentrated on that feeling and what could generously be called coordinates—Hell's dimensions and geography operated on a very different system than Earth's.

He gave the air—such as it was—a sniff but could only detect sulphur, sulphur, and more sulphur. He was sure Juliet could have schooled him on the various nuances of that rotten egg smell, but she wasn't here and he had to get back topside. The process was way easier than he'd imagined and he wondered if it was similar to Angel Airways before the big celestial nosedive (not that he planned on asking and poking that wound).

Concentrating on Lebanon, he was about to hop back through a promising-looking shadow when he felt something nip his back leg. Growling, he spun to find...a very small, kinda wispy-looking hellhound puppy. There were several others rolling around, winking in and out of visibility, although occasionally one would seem to solidify enough to get a good pounce in.

They were not adorable. Definitely not. This was Hell. Things were not adorable in _Hell_ and even if they were, Dean Fucking Winchester was not gonna admit to it.

He nosed the pup that had bit him back a little. This one was a little bigger than the rest and was therefore mostly solid, though its tail and ears looked more like smoke than fur.

"C'mere, you little rascal," a voice with a soft Irish accent called. "You're liable to get a good bite, sneaking up on Juliet like that."

Dean froze. The demon was huge, and his black eyes somehow shone. His dark skin was made even darker by the soot and ash covering him and he wore a leather jacket that looked like it would stop bullets. Dean recognized him from their brief encounter when Juliet had pranked them all by bringing pups into the Bunker and Connor or O'Connell or whatever-the-dude's-name-was had come to fetch them back. He hadn't seemed like a threat then, but things change, and this time, Dean was on the demon's turf.

The demon paused and several pups roly-polyed over (and through) his feet, not that he seemed to notice. "You're not Juliet. Well, you are, but not. What happened to you, girl?"

Dean shook his head, wishing he could speak.

"Not a girl, eh? Well, you make a fine hellhound lass, at the moment," he said wryly, but his hand moved slowly to his belt, pushing back his jacket, and Dean was not in the least bit surprised to see a deadly-looking knife. "Now I have to ask, is Juliet safe? I don't know who you are, but if you've come here wearing Juliet and have done something to her—"

Sinking back on his haunches, Dean shook his head and whined, widening his eyes in the best innocent face he could manage. Juliet and Sam always made the puppy-dog eyes thing look so easy...

The demon peered at him, his black eyes narrowing in judgment and assessment. He let the jacket fall back again. "You're her master, aren't you? Winchester?"

Dean nodded, huffing a breath of relief.

The demon gave a dark chuckle. "'Course you are. Who else would it be? Quite the mess you've landed yourself in, then. Though after the stories I've heard, I'm hardly surprised." He glanced around the craggy rocks, his face illuminated by the fires. "Try to keep to myself down here in the kennels—never was one for demon or human nonsense; 'hounds are so much easier—but word gets 'round. I'm expecting you need to be getting back?"

Dean stood again, nodded, and then tilted his head towards the demon.

"How do you get back? Same way you came, boy."

He shook his head and tried again, this time jutting his head in the demon's direction.

"What's my name?"

_Yes!_ Dean thought before remembering the demon couldn't hear him. His tail wagged, though, and apparently that did the job.

"Connall."

Well, Dean had been close on the name. He whuffed his best approximation of a thanks.

Connall stooped to pick up a semi-solid pup who'd gotten itself lodged between two rocks and whose tiny paws couldn't reach the ground and were scrabbling the air. "You tell Juliet she best come here once you've sorted this out. I'd hate to send someone or something after you to make sure she's been put to rights, but…"

Dean barked his assent. He had no intention of staying as a hellhound and he definitely didn't want this kennel-dude after him. Even holding a mini furball didn't make him any less intimidating and Dean had zero doubts Connall would make good on his ultimatum. Sure, Dean'd handled worse but he had enough enemies that he wasn't really in the market for another.

Plus, if he and Juliet didn't figure this out, he was pretty sure Juliet would be his bigger concern. She might still be new to the human body thing, but the last twenty-four hours had only shown him that she was a damn quick learner.

With a small yip to Connall, Dean stepped back towards the shadow he'd been about to hop through before the demon had arrived, though he kept an eye on the man.

_Lebanon, Kansas, _he thought to himself, _the Bunker…_

Almost as soon as he started thinking, he began to slip into the shadow and out of the plane of Hell.

It was noisy. Way noisier than he expected, even during rush hour (which, in Lebanon, Kansas, meant two cars sitting at the same intersection, each waving the other on until finally one gave up and just drove through).

And unless the Bunker or Main Street had gotten a major makeover in the twenty minutes he'd been gone (probably less than that, give the Hell time conversion rate), he wasn't in Kansas anymore.

He groaned to himself at the bad joke.

The buildings were sandy stone, people were bustling around, cars moved and honked on busy streets, and the street signs were in what Dean thought was Arabic.

Shit.

He wasn't exactly a world traveler, but if he had to take a stab in the dark, he'd guess he'd only gotten half of his directions right and he'd ended up in Lebanon, the country.

Cas was gonna give him _so_ much shit for this. So would Sam when he inevitably found out.

There was a street vendor not far away that was selling something deliciously meaty, the aroma wafting on the light breeze, and Dean resisted the urge to snag a bite or two on this unintended pit stop. But seeing as he had no money and that would essentially be stealing—damn morals and ethics and all that bullshit—he instead just sighed and slunk into an alley while pedestrians subconsciously avoided him.

His second hop into Hell luckily brought him exactly where he intended and he was greeted by the sight of Connall sitting on rock, tending a fire. A few pups snoozed nearby, clearly soaking up the warmth of the fire.

The demon raised an eyebrow. "Back so soon?"

Dean huffed.

"I really must have a word with Juliet when she's back to normal. Seems she needs to work on her training skills. Wouldn't want the pups to pick up bad habits like this."

God, he wished he could roll his eyes. Giving his best annoyed look while Connall chuckled, Dean turned to a shadow and, this time focusing on the Bunker and that feeling of home and family, he slipped into the darkness.

Well, he didn't end up outside the Bunker where he'd left Juliet and Cas, but the kitchen was close enough. From the wall near where he'd emerged he felt a _presence_ but unlike when he'd first entered the Bunker, there were no warning bells, just a certain sense of familiarity and approval. Apparently, he passed muster with the Bunker, and no, he didn't think he would ever get used to the idea.

He made his way outside—though it took him a few minutes longer than he'd like to admit to get the door open (he wondered if Juliet usually used her teeth or paws or just asked her Bunker BFF to do it for her…).

Cas and Juliet were roughly where he'd left them, though Juliet was sitting on the ground, tossing the ball back and forth between her hands. Anyone else might have mistaken her for being completely at ease, but Dean recognized the tightness in her shoulders and the way her eyes darted around as she constantly scanned for threats. Cas stood with his hands by his sides, but one hand clenched and unclenched.

_I'm back!_ he said with a happy bark. Instantly, both Cas and Juliet relaxed and Dean trotted over. He nudged Cas' hand first, earning himself a quick scratch behind the ears and a soft smile, before going to Juliet and letting her give even more head scratches.

"I knew you could do it, Master. Did you see Connall?"

_Yeah, I did. He wanted to make sure you're ok. Said you should visit when you're back to normal._

Juliet nodded. "He probably wants help training the pups. They need a grown 'hound to show them how. Brutus does what he can, but he's very old."

_Pretty sure he also wants to make sure I'm not treating you bad._

Juliet looked horrified and surprised. "Of course you're not treating me bad! You're a good master, Master."

Cas' eyes went as narrow as Juliet's went wide. "Is Connall now a threat?"

_Stand down, Cas. I think he's a good one. 'Long as we un-Freaky Friday this shit soon._ Cas didn't seem wholly convinced, and so Dean abandoned the very good scratches he was getting to reassure Cas. He nudged Cas with his shoulder and kind of leaned into him. It was hard to cuddle a dude who was standing up, but he gave it his best shot. _It's fine. Hey, I even got to travel the world. Forgot to get my passport stamped, though. But, I didn't have to get on a stupid plane, so, no complaints…_

"What do you mean you traveled the world?" Cas asked as Juliet got up from the ground. Together, they all started to make their way to the Bunker.

_Well, I may have gotten Lebanon, Kansas and the country mixed up…_

Cas pinched the bridge of his nose. "Dean Winchester, you are very lucky I am not susceptible to cardiac arrest."

_Aw, c'mon, you love it._

"You? Yes. Your antics? Not so much."

It wasn't the first time Cas'd said it, but it still made Dean's insides feel a little more fiery than usual. _You're a sap._

Cas simply raised a brow in a "pot-kettle" expression.

_Yeah yeah._

He paused when he realized Juliet was not beside them anymore. He turned to find her holding up his phone and frowning at the screen.

"I don't know what this means," she said. She held it out to him while the lock screen was still lit. A message from Eileen—Sam must be driving—sent to his phone and Cas'. The screen timed out before he could read the message, but behind him, Cas had apparently pulled out his own phone.

"She says they'll be here in fifteen minutes."

Dean could only hope they were coming with good news from the witch's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have no idea how happy I was to play in Thayer's sandbox with Connall and the hellpups. :)


	8. Chapter 8

To prepare for the arrival of Samoose and Eileen, Cas taught Juliet how to make coffee. Before, coffee had been nothing but another of the many smells she associated with her humans, but as a human herself, it was the most intoxicating thing she’d ever smelled. The aroma wafted to her tiny human nose, stronger than anything else she’d smelled in human form, and filled her head with want. Waiting for it to finish seemed like a sort of torture.

The drizzle slowed to a drip and Juliet snatched up the mug that had been designated for her use. Cas anticipated her, taking the coffee receptacle himself and filling his own mug. Juliet set hers back on the metal surface for him to fill, but didn’t let go of the handle.

He hesitated with the pot over her mug. “Are you sure you want coffee? It can be an acquired taste.”

“I’m very sure,” Juliet replied. “The smell is so different in this form. Is coffee essential to human survival? It feels like something I need.”

_It’s essential to my survival. I practically live off coffee some days, so I’m not surprised you’re craving it._ Her master nuzzled Cas’ arm. _Go without coffee too long and you’re likely to get a headache._

Cas nodded and filled her mug. “Be careful, it’s hot.”

Hot? If the smell hadn’t decided her already, that would have convinced her. Juliet raised the mug and took a sip, in her haste forgetting her master’s human vulnerability to heat. Pain assaulted her mouth, startling her into spilling coffee all down the clothing covering her torso.

_And this is why we’re not cooking burgers. _Her master softened the thought by licking coffee off her hand.

More practically, Cas touched her forehead and a tingly sensation washed the pain away. “I did warn you. Try not to burn yourself again.”

Regretfully, Juliet set her coffee down on the table and peeled two layers of clothing away from her borrowed skin. She felt a degree of pride in only getting tangled in the sleeves for a brief moment. Balling up the wet shirts, she ignored the chill air on bare skin. “Sorry for getting more of your clothing dirty, Master. Oh! But this means I need to take another shower, right?”

_Yeah, I don’t think so, _replied her master, dashing her hopes. _Just use the dry part of those shirts to dry off. Worst case, you’ll smell like coffee for the rest of the day, which ain’t a bad thing._

Juliet did as her master suggested, and was about to run over to his room for a fresh shirt when a thought occurred to her. Stepping over to the wall, she placed her hand against it and asked, “Bunker Palace? Do you happen to have a shirt I could wear? I’ll trade you two shirts with coffee on them.”

Brows furrowed, Cas began, “Why would the Bunker—”

He stopped mid-sentence when the metal door of the food-making thing creaked open, revealing bright pink cloth folded on a metal sheet. Juliet unfolded the shirt to make sure it was big enough to fit her master’s body before setting the two coffee-soaked shirts on the tray.

While she was wriggling into the shirt, Cas deciphered the script inked across the front of it. “Free hugs? Where did the Bunker get this from?”

_How the hell— I bought that thing years ago. I was drunk, Charlie was even more drunk, and she dared me to, but I never wore it. Crammed it in the back of a drawer and forgot about it._

Smoothing the fabric over her borrowed chest, Juliet admired the sparkly purple words. “It says free hugs?” Upon confirmation from Cas, she spread her arms wide and did her best to hug the wall. “Thank you, Bunker Palace Home. This is the best torso covering ever.”

From somewhere in the area of the stairs came a familiar voice. “Hey, we’re home!”

Juliet’s master scrambled to interpose himself between Juliet and the approaching Samoose. _Sam can’t see me wearing that! Go change into something else. Anything!_

“Technically, you’re not wearing it,” replied Cas. “Juliet is. Besides, I think it’s perfect.”

_You would._

The Bunker Palace must have made the route easy, because the footsteps arrived faster than usual. Juliet patted her master’s side. “Too late, they’re already here.”

Stepping around her master, Juliet made sure she was right there when Samoose and Eileen walked in. She didn’t even bother waiting for anyone to say anything before wrapping her arms around each of them to demonstrate how well she’d learned how to hug.

Samoose stammered, “Wow, uh, so I guess you’re, uh— You’re really not Dean, huh?”

He also did the finger wiggly thing he and Eileen were always doing, which Juliet still didn’t understand. Thankfully, Eileen used mouth words. “I thought that was pretty obvious.” Her smile crept up on one side and she added, “Juliet gives much better hugs.”

“Thank you, Eileen!” Juliet replied. “I just learned how to hug today, so I’m glad to hear I’m doing it right.”

Looking from Juliet’s master, to Juliet, and back again, Samoose shook his head. “It’s one thing hearing about it, but seeing it is another thing altogether. You alright in there, Dean?”

In response, her master stepped forward and bumped his head against Samoose’s chest. _Tell him I’m fine, but he’d better have found something to help fix this mess._

Juliet dutifully passed along her master’s words while Samoose scratched her master’s head, but it was Eileen who answered, “We burned what was left of the _things_ in the basement, and we gathered up the amulet and all of the witch’s books without touching them. They’re on the table in the library now.”

“And I got your gun,” Samoose added. “Left it in your glovebox for when you get your hands back. Guess you don’t really need it right now.”

Juliet could feel her master gearing up to give as good as he got, but Cas spoke before he could. “There’s coffee if you want it. I’ll go take a look at the amulet you brought back.”

“Coffee sounds great. Thanks, Cas,” replied Eileen.

Coffee! Juliet had forgotten about her coffee. She reclaimed her mug and contented herself with the wonderful smell and the warmth on her hands while it cooled.

Juliet’s master went with Cas to the library. Eileen got her own cup of coffee and took it to the library, leaving Juliet alone with Samoose. Having seen her people do so many times, she waited until he was done pouring his coffee before patting his shoulder. “Thank you for retrieving my master’s gun. He had it in his hand when we switched forms and I didn’t notice I left it behind. My master would have been very upset if it was lost forever.”

He smiled and his eyes did that squinty thing they did when he meant it. “It’s okay, Juliet. Anyone would’ve done the same. I can’t even imagine being stuck in the body of a completely different species and doing as well as I hear you’ve done.”

Mindful of the coffee she held, Juliet resisted the urge to hug him again. “Thank you, Samoose. You’re a very good human.”

His eyebrows squished together and his mouth fell open, but no words came out. Unfortunate, but some humans had trouble accepting when people said good things about them. She gently squeezed his arm like a mini hug to let him know she meant it.

Taking her coffee and heading to the library, she only made it a few steps before Samoose said, “Wait, Juliet. What’d you just call me?”

Juliet smiled to reassure him. “A very good human, and I meant it. I’ll admit, we didn’t get along at first, and that’s mostly because you tried to kill my former master — which was a very bad thing to do, by the way — but you’re much nicer now. I should probably thank Eileen for helping you be nicer.”

“No no, what did you call me before that? Instead of my name, what was that?”

“Samoose? But that’s who you are.”

“What? No, my name is Sam.”

“Okay, Samoose.”

Honestly, humans were so confusing. Of course his name was Sam, but it was also Moose. Her former master had been quite clear about that. She wasn’t going to just choose one and ignore the other, so obviously the only thing to do was to combine them.

He stopped and ran a hand over his face. “I haven’t had enough coffee for this.”

“That’s okay then, because your coffee’s right there. I’m gonna go look at the magic things and drink my coffee now.”

In the library — which was still such a strange word, but it was apparently what they called the book room — her master had his paws up on the table while Cas and Eileen looked through the books, turning the pages with an angel knife. It seemed like an awkward way to go about things, but probably wise if they didn’t want to trigger any traps.

“You see what we’re dealing with?” said Eileen as Juliet carried her coffee, watching to make sure it didn’t spill. “I only took a quick look at this one earlier, but it looks like really complicated magic.”

Cas shook his head and sighed. “I’ve never understood enough witchcraft to untangle the mechanics of complex spells. Honestly, I don’t think it makes any sense. By all rights, it shouldn’t work at all.”

Juliet set her coffee on the table, well clear of the books, and looked over the things on the table. If she’d been a ‘hound still, she could have smelled which ones had magic on them and which had only been around magic long enough to absorb a little, but she was unfortunately stuck with her master’s less-capable form. That gave her an idea, though. “Master, you should be able to smell the magic on these. Smell them and tell me which one has the strongest smell.”

_Is that why I haven’t been able to get that smell out of my nose? _He leaned in and sniffed the open book._ It smells like demonic confetti crammed inside a disco ball. That’s magic?_

Juliet closed her eyes and tried to recall the scent. “Yeah, that sounds about right. I guess what you smelled earlier really was the Bunker Palace.”

Eileen’s eyebrows did a squish-together thing and she wiggled her fingers at Cas, to which he replied with words and wiggly fingers, “I’ll explain later.”

Bracing his paws on the table, her master carefully sniffed each of the books in turn, ending with the amulet, which looked like loopy loops of metal in a triangle shape with a red stone in the middle. _Okay, the amulet has a really strong disco demon smell, which I’m sure we all knew it would. The books though? Only the one you’ve got open has a strong smell. The rest of ‘em just smell like maybe they were in the room when the disco ball got piñata’ed._

Juliet scratched behind her master’s ears. “You’re getting much better at being a ‘hound, Master.” Nodding to indicate the open book, she continued, “That’s the only book with an actual magic spell on it. The others should be safe to touch, but that one is probably the one that can help us.”

From the doorway, Samoose said, “Alright then, let’s get started.”

* * *

They took turns trying to read the magicked book, with the rest of them looking over the other books. Juliet turned the pages for her master so he could read to her, but even between the two of them, they weren’t making much progress. She finished her coffee — it smelled better than it tasted, but it was still pretty great — and was starting to get hungry by the time they finished with one book, but she refused to let hunger defeat her. She needed to help with the efforts to restore her to her proper form, even if her only contribution was to be her master’s hands.

Eileen was the first to break the silence. “Me and Sam have been learning witchcraft for awhile now, but we’re still pretty much beginners. This book isn’t making any sense. Maybe it’s because we’re rookies, maybe the book is made up mumbo jumbo, but I don’t know enough to know for sure.”

Cas sighed, “So what you’re saying is, we need an expert.”

“We’re not getting anywhere on our own, so yeah,” replied Samoose.

_You do know the only witch we’re on good terms with, who’s alive and we know how to get in contact with, is gonna ask a hell of a lot in exchange for this._

Juliet had no idea what he was talking about, but Cas apparently did. “You have a better idea?”

Samoose closed the book he’d been reading. “I dunno what Dean just said, but I think I can imagine, and no, I don’t think we have any other options.”

Thankfully, Eileen asked what Juliet had been thinking. “What the hell are you guys talking about?”

Looking upwards, Cas took a deep breath before answering her. “We need to call Rowena MacLeod.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't possibly thank Dmsilvis enough for the [absolutely perfect artwork](https://dmsilvisart.tumblr.com/post/188094424888/free-hugs) of the FREE HUGS t-shirt scene. It's even better than I imagined it could be.


	9. Chapter 9

Considering Cas was still bitter about the fact that Rowena had once compared him to a dog—and a fish, but that was a different story—Dean wasn't holding out much hope for this visit from their somewhat friendly neighborhood witch. At least when Cas complained next, Dean would be able to counter that at least Rowena hadn't seen Cas when he was _actually_ a dog. ('Hound. Whatever.) As comebacks go, it wasn't much but Dean was willing to take any leg he could stand on. Not that he was really looking forward to having more than the four he was currently saddled with.

Dean didn't miss the way Eileen's eyes narrowed when Sam made the call. He trotted over to her side, noticing the subtle smells of coffee and her floral shampoo and even the familiar scent of his brother. He wished he could tell her that Rowena was just a flirt who probably wouldn't turn down an offer of fun from any of them (Eileen included), but she mostly got her kicks out of flustering them. For all their differences, Rowena and Crowley had been pretty similar in that regard. And never mind any of that: Dean had never seen his brother as happy with someone as he was with Eileen. Magic and questionable morality aside, Rowena was no threat.

Despite his inability to actually say any of that without playing a game of telephone with either Juliet or Cas, who were currently in the kitchen anyway, Eileen seemed to catch his drift and she smiled down at him as she gave him a scratch behind the ears. It felt good but Dean wasn't sure he'd be able to look his more-or-less sister-in-law in the eye when he was human again if he really leaned into this fiery furball thing. At least it wasn't a belly rub. Cas and Juliet were one thing; Eileen and Sam were another.

Eileen seemed to catch that drift, too, because she gave him a wry smile and said, "Sorry—reflex. You make a very cuddly hellhound."

He growled at her in response. _Cuddly? Fucking badass, thank you very much._

She laughed, somehow interpreting his growl, before sobering up. "This has to suck, huh? You're handling it a lot better than I would."

He whuffed noncommittally. Honestly, he was pretty much in "figure it out now, freak out later" mode, aka. Standard Winchester Operating Procedure (and substitute "freak out" for "heavy drinking"). And even he wasn't self-delusional enough to say he handled the original realization or driving lesson with grace. And the less anyone said about the bathrooms and showers, the better he'd sleep at night.

Still, he appreciated the sentiment. Eileen was awesome, and so he gave her his best doggy-grin (which probably looked like a snarl, but hellhound fangs was all he got) just as Sam hung up the phone.

"She says she's on her way, a few hours out," he announced, running a hand through his hair.

Eileen nodded and thankfully asked what Dean could not. "What does she want in return?"

"Nothing, for now," Sam said with a tone that conveyed he was well aware that this wouldn't come without some strings attached that would be pulled at a later date.

Cas and Juliet returned from the kitchen, Juliet happily munching on another PB&J, and Sam relayed the conversation with Rowena to them.

"Could be worse," Cas agreed, signing as well and resuming his role as unofficial translator for the group as the one most fluent in ASL other than Eileen herself.

"Do we have tea?" Juliet asked, causing the other four to look at her in confusion. She continued, as if her question had been obvious, "Magic/tea Rowena always seemed happier and more willing not to betray my former Master when she had tea." She shoved the sandwich in her mouth again, clearly rolling her tongue around as she chewed to counter the sticking peanut butter. She grinned as she ate.

Ok, Dean was starting to understand why Sam always gave him shit when he ate a good burger or pie. And he was starting to question Cas' sanity, standards, and/or eyesight.

"I'm sure we do somewhere," Sam said, nodding. "Good idea, Juliet."

"Thanks, Samoose!"

Dean shook his head in amusement.

But there wasn't a whole lot to do until Rowena showed up, so they collectively retreated to the Fortress of Deanitude to watch something mindless. Dean was less than pleased when he got booted off the couch (even though he hadn't really fit, unless he'd been planning on sprawling on Cas' lap, which, to be fair, sounded like a pretty solid choice) and Juliet took his place while Eileen and Sam failed horribly at disguising their smirks.

_Yeah yeah, yuck it up_, he huffed in their general direction as he settled on the oversized dog bed they'd picked up for the room (the one he'd made for her was in the bedroom). Juliet reached over and scratched his head.

It had taken a lot of discussion to decide on the movie before landing on _Star Wars: A New Hope_ because it was familiar enough that the not-hellhounds could explain anything confusing to Juliet without worrying about missing anything themselves, and because Juliet said she'd seen parts of it anyway and wanted to know how it ended.

She was delighted by the possibility of finally 'watching a story' and understanding what was happening, now that she could ask questions and wouldn't be kicked out of the room so that Dean and Cas could 'practice making deals'.

Cas just had an amused smile on his face even though Dean was trying to die by suffocation from dog bed. Sam was signing quickly for Eileen's benefit, and she let out a roar of laughter when she learned what Juliet had said.

"Juliet," Sam wheezed, "that's not—I mean, does she…?" He looked helplessly between Cas, Eileen, and Dean. "Do we have to have the Talk with a hellhound?"

_No! _Dean shook his head just as Juliet said, "I like talking. Is this a different kind of talking? Like how Eileen talks with her hands?" She waved her hands around in front of her, mimicking what she'd just seen Sam do. Dean's ASL was still rusty but he was pretty sure Juliet had managed to get the sign for 'kiss' and fingerspell 'deal', even though it was clear she didn't quite know what the individual signs meant.

Added bonus: they seemed to have collectively moved off the topic of explaining the birds and the bees to a hellhound (who probably would have just been disappointed by the lack of birds or bees in the conversation).

"That wasn't bad," Eileen said, signing as well. "You picked that up pretty quick."

"Thanks! I didn't know what the hand waggles meant at first, or that you couldn't hear me, but then I figured it out. It's pretty clever to talk with your hands like that instead. It's too bad 'hound paws can't do the same."

Cas looked thoughtful for a moment, as did Sam. Almost at the same time, they looked at the TV where a commercial was advertising a car—presumably, by the silver sedan whipping around corners...oh, no, there was the company logo; it was advertising homeowners insurance, naturally. It took Dean a second to figure out what they were thinking but even if he hadn't put the pieces together, Sam asked, "Juliet, you can't read, right?"

"Right. I know what writing is but it's just squiggles to me."

_But could you learn? You're a pretty smart 'hound._

Juliet translated him for the others before frowning in thought and shrugging. "I don't see why not. No one has ever taught a hellhound to read before, but I don't think a hellhound had ever driven a car beast before I did."

"Would the skill transfer to a hellhound body?" Cas mused.

_Probably, _Dean answered, praying in Cas' general direction. _I can read just fine._

Sam and Eileen missed half the conversation but they seemed to be following along just fine by context. "Huh," Sam mused. "It could work."

"Wouldn't be the strangest thing we've done," Eileen agreed, adjusting her glasses as she settled in against Sam's side. "Could get her an oversized keyboard to type to communicate or something."

"I could get a computer box?" Juliet lit up. "Do they make them ‘hound sized?"

"Dunno," Sam shrugged. "But I guess we can find out."

_Movie first. Then body switcheroo and then we can worry about ABCs for Juliet._ He grinned up at Cas, Eileen, and Sam, trusting Cas to translate for him. _Think we should get her copies of Clifford the Big Red Dog for her to practice on?_

Juliet, of course, just crossed her arms and pouted. "I am _not_ a big red dog and I don't know who this Clifford is but I don't think I'd want copies of him either."

"Of course not," Cas said soothingly, but there was a small wink that Dean was pretty sure only he could see.

* * *

If the book smelled like demonic confetti crammed inside a disco ball, then Rowena was Hell's version of a rave. Plus there was something...herbal? Tea, his 'hound brain instincts supplied belatedly.

He was on his feet at the first whiff of her, even though everyone else was still glued to the screen—it had taken them twice as long as usual to get through even just one movie because Juliet had a lot of questions and Sam and Cas were too nice and would pause to explain it all to her without getting at all impatient. Dean was just glad they'd stuck to something simple.

Han Solo was just swooping in with the Millennium Falcon during the attack on the Death Star when a lilting, "Oh, Winchesters, where are you, loves?" echoed down the hallway. Sam paused the movie just as Rowena drifted in the room, declaring, "Well, well, isn't this cozy?"

Her hair was piled high on her head and she was wearing a flowy white blouse, wide-leg dark purple dress pants, and high heels that probably cost more than his entire wardrobe put together. Even Cas' suit looked shabby by comparison, never mind the comfortable flannel Juliet, Sam, and Eileen were wearing. As always, she strutted in like she owned the place, and while that would normally annoy the crap out of Dean, he wasn't exactly in a position to complain.

"Rowena," Sam greeted her. "Thank you for coming."

"But of course, Samuel! And hello, angel," she flirtily smiled at Cas. "And Eileen, dear, looking lovely as ever." Eileen muttered a noncommittal hello, which Rowena just glossed over in favor of a better target: she caught sight of Dean standing by the couch and dog bed and she leaned over, hands on her knees; it was then that he noticed her eye makeup was even more purple and noticeable than usual and was kind of glowing? Had to be some sort of hellhound-seeing spell. "Oh _hello_, Dean sweetie. Aren't you just looking like the cutest little 'hound…"

Dean growled and considered nipping at her but Juliet got there first—minus the nipping. "He's not little or _cute_," she snarled, before seeming to remember that Rowena was on their side and she should probably play nice, giving a strained smile that made Dean snort a little in amusement.

Rowena straightened up again, assessing Juliet from head to toe, eyes lingering on the pink shirt. "Well, I see what they mean when they say pets and owners start to resemble each other. Did the prickliness come with the body, dear, or was that all yours?"

Sam, thankfully, stepped in, hunching his shoulders and offering his best innocent smile—the one that was only a step away from puppy-dog eyes in Sam's arsenal of 'looks that will get people to do whatever I want because I'm cute'. "Rowena, uh, how about some tea?"

* * *

Dean had gotten almost used to, or at least resigned to, being in Juliet's body, but now that Rowena was here to sort shit out, he was itching to get going. Or maybe it was fleas. Could hellhounds get hellfleas?

He paced around the library as Rowena poured over the book and sipped her tea, making disapproving clucking noises whenever she found a passage that troubled her witchy sensibilities.

"I'm not one to recommend burning a witch at the stake on general principle," she sniffed at one point, "but the sheer incompetence makes a compelling argument for it."

"Can you fix them?" Cas asked, standing across from her. His hands gripped the back of a chair tightly. 

"Of course I can, angel! Don't worry your pretty little head." She turned a page and kept reading. "I just need a bit of time. And it's not as if we're in a terrible rush."

_So says you,_ Dean huffed. Juliet clearly shared the same feeling.

"I would like to be back in my body. My master's body isn't bad for a human, but humans are awfully squishy and weak. And I don't like bathrooms." She shrugged. "I will miss rolling my eyes, though. And driving the Impala beast."

"And I'm sure you did a lovely job with that, dear," Rowena said, eyeing Dean as if to say she knew it probably drove him nuts that Juliet had gone anywhere near his car. "And we'll get you all sorted as soon as possible. I just meant that for once it's not a matter of life and death or the end of the world, which I must say is a refreshing change of pace for you Winchesters."

Eileen snorted and sipped her beer. "No kidding."

Sam looked just as antsy as Dean felt, as if he was just short of getting up and pacing around the room himself. Instead, he just shifted in his chair, clearly unsettled by the fact that there were books in front of him that didn't have the answers, and the one that did, he couldn't read. "Did you find the original spell yet?"

Rowena shook her head. "So far it's more notes and theories than a true grimoire. It looked like she was trying to create familiars?"

Juliet nodded. "She had not-good things in the basement. They were part human and part animal, like cats and dogs. They were all dead."

"Bloody fool," Rowena muttered, but not to Juliet. "Any half-decent witch knows that's not how you make a familiar." She skipped a head a few more pages, skimming and sipping her tea. Her eyes narrowed on a page and then she looked up at Juliet and Dean. "The two of you bonded as Master and 'hound before this, yes?"

Dean nodded his head, trusting Juliet to explain more. "We fought off a demon and her hellhound together. And after, my master could finally see me without face-glass and I could feel what he was feeling."

"But you couldn't hear each other's thoughts? You couldn't talk to Dean like he can with you right now?"

"No. It would have been so much easier if I could. I have a lot of questions and no one ever seems to know what I want to ask."

As frustrating as the current situation was, Dean knew he'd definitely lucked out in that regard. He also felt a small pang of regret that if Rowena undid the whole spell, he'd lose that level of connection with Juliet once they were swapped back. She was pretty damn funny and insightful, in her own way, and he'd really liked getting to know her in a whole new light over the past few days.

"Hmm," was all Rowena responded as she set down her tea and made some notes on the paper Sam had provided. She worked silently for a few moments, flipping back between the book and her notes, glancing occasionally up at Dean and Juliet, and studying the amulet which she held in a white handkerchief to avoid her skin, while the rest of them tried to be as patient as possible and not stare at her expectantly while she worked.

Dean had thought he'd known what it meant when someone said the tension in the room was palpable, but with 'hound senses, it practically _was_. He could sense the frayed edges of everyone's nerves manifested in sweat or tight breathing, hear the slight rustle of fabric as Eileen jiggled a leg and the _tap-tap-tap_ of Sam's fingers on his thigh, see how Cas' eyes moved ever so slightly whenever Rowena did. Juliet's tension was the most obvious: she slouched in her chair or took out his phone and tried to get it to do more than get the screen to light up. Eileen eventually took pity on her and gave her her own phone and showed her how to play some brightly colored game that had Juliet smiling like a goddamn goober as she tried to swipe certain dots and squares or whatever at the right time.

Finally, just when he thought the tension and anticipation might actually kill them, Rowena ripped off part of the paper she'd been writing on and handed it to Sam. "Fetch these for me, love."

Sam showed the list to Eileen and Cas, who both rose to accompany him to the store rooms. Rowena watched them go, then leaned back in her chair while Juliet leaned forward in hers. Dean settled on his haunches by Juliet.

"You can fix us now?" she asked.

"Absolutely. Once I unravelled her convoluted process, it was easy to see where she went wrong and devise a counterspell."

"Oh good." Juliet peered at her warily. "You're not trying to trick us like you did my former master, are you? I might just be a squishy human right now, but I learned how to do a lot, and my master is pretty good at being a hellhound. We don't like tricks."

Rowena chuckled, but it didn't quite meet her eyes. "No, Juliet dear, I've changed since my time at Fergus' court. You have nothing to worry about. And don't think I don't know that if anything happened to you or Dean, I would have two very angry hunters and an angel after me." She turned to Dean. "Isn't that right?"

He barked in agreement, but not aggressively. He knew Juliet had every reason not to trust Rowena, and there were a lot of reasons they shouldn't either, but he had a feeling that after Crowley's death and Lucifer and everything else, she really was starting to come around to the light side of the Force, in her own way. He pressed against Juliet's leg, which made her relax. Sam, Cas, and Eileen returned a moment later.

Sam put a few jars on the table, to which Cas added a silver bowl and a stone pestle and mortar set, and Eileen several white candles. "Got everything," he announced.

Rowena stood up, taking the amulet and dropping it out of the handkerchief into the bowl. "Excellent. Shall we begin?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my last chapter, but Grey will be back Wednesday with a brief epilogue. I hope you've all enjoyed our ridiculous body swapping adventure.  
-Thayer

The actual ritual was fairly mundane. The Rowena witch ground up some things in the stone bowl, lit the candles, dumped the ground up things into the metal bowl containing the amulet, and said some words Juliet didn’t understand. She really wished she could still smell magic, but the _fwoof_ of light after the words seemed like a good sign.

Samoose, who was watching attentively with Eileen, asked, “Is that it? Are they back to normal now?”

“Not quite,” replied Rowena as she dumped the amulet out onto the table. “Juliet, sweetie, I need you to grab hold of your dear old master’s furry little self and then touch the amulet while you still have hold of him. That should set things right.”

While her first instinct was still to mistrust the witch, Juliet had to admit that was probably due to how Rowena had treated Juliet’s former master. She claimed to have changed, and she was entirely correct in assuming any trickery on her part would result in her being hunted like a soul bound for Hell (which Juliet still wanted to see, but not at the expense of danger to her master). Most importantly, if her master didn’t trust the ritual, he wouldn’t have been waiting expectantly for Juliet to follow the witch’s instructions.

After all the build up, it happened so fast. One moment, Juliet had one human hand on her master’s side while the other reached for the amulet, and in the blink of an eye, her master had a hand on her and everything felt right again. All the smells of home came flooding back. It was almost overwhelming, but in a good way. 

A small part of her felt bad for her master having to return to his inferior human form, but she firmly reminded herself of how much he’d missed talking and having hands, so it was okay. As if to confirm that, her master held out both his hands in front of him, smiled a big open-mouthed smile and laughed a little.

“It worked! Holy crap, it worked!” He must have been very happy, because he gave the tiny Rowena witch a huge hug.

Samoose and Eileen got funny-strange looks on their faces, but Cas looked smitey. He crossed the distance between them in two steps and pressed two fingers to her master’s forehead, prompting her master to let go of the Rowena witch with a different sort of odd look on his face and the “I don’t wanna talk about it” feeling resonating through their bond.

Rowena straightened clothes that didn’t look like they needed straightening. “I would’ve thought you’d include your handsome angel if that’s how you wanted to thank me, but I don’t think he’s on board. Might I instead suggest you consider accepting my more material requests for compensation?” Both Juliet’s master and Cas looked smitey at that, which didn’t stop her from smiling and adding, “I’ll have a list for you later.”

Juliet didn’t care what mundane items Rowena wanted, she only cared about what Cas learned from his forehead-touchy thing. Nosing his other hand, she whined an inquiry.

As always, Cas seemed to know what she meant. His face lost its smitey look and he gave her one of his almost-smiles where the corners of his eyes crinkled. “As far as I can tell, everything seems back to normal. There’s a faint residue of magic, but that could just be from the counter-spell.”

That matched with what Juliet thought, so she licked his hand in thanks. It would have been nice to thank him with words — even if it was by way of telling her master to tell Cas thanks — but he’d never needed words to understand her before. His crinkle-smile deepened and the corners of his mouth actually curved up a bit.

Juliet was sure one of her master’s first thoughts as a human would have been for food or drink or a hot shower, but while she was still dwelling on having lost the power of speech, he said, “Oh, Juliet, you should probably go tell whatshisname the kennel guy everything’s all fixed. I really don’t want a demon showing up here to ask why you didn’t make curfew.”

In all the chaos, Juliet had almost forgotten about her master’s visit with Connall, but that was an excellent idea. Tail wagging, she hopped up and put her paws on her master’s shoulders in an attempt at a hug without hands. It didn’t go as well as she’d hoped, so she licked his face while she was there.

Her master laughed and patted her side. “Alright, alright, go on. You probably wanna go for a run anyway.”

He was right. After being stuck in her master’s meatsuit for what felt like forever, a good run was exactly what she needed. Ordinarily, she’d have just played fetch with the Bunker, but checking in with Kennel Master Connall was important, and besides, as much as she cared about her master, she kinda wanted to hear Connall’s thoughts on her misadventures.

Her trip through the shadows was short and gave her no chance to think about how he might react, so she had no expectations when she arrived and the first thing she heard was, “Back again, Winchester?”

Juliet sat back on her haunches and tilted her head to one side. Kennel Master Connall had always made more sense than any non-’hound she’d ever met, but that made no sense. Her master and Samoose were Winchesters. Winchesters were human. Although, her master had called Cas an honourary Winchester more than once, so maybe it was possible to become a Winchester. Oh, maybe wearing her master’s meatsuit had done it.

While she was still sorting through her thoughts, Connall took a step closer, his true self looking surprised and happy. “Juliet? That’s you, isn’t it? I never would’ve thought to expect you back for awhile yet. I’ll wager you’d have a story to tell if you still had the words to tell it.”

It was incredibly tempting to wish she was still human so she could tell the whole story with all the words in her head. There was no possible way to convey even the smallest portion of her tale when she was stuck playing what her master called “Twenty Questions” (though the number of questions involved wasn’t usually twenty). She wanted Connall to know all the things she’d seen and done as a human and the many things she finally understood which had been unsolvable puzzles before. Since she couldn’t do any of that, she barked an emphatic yes.

He smiled, but his smoke form said it was a sad smile. “Words are a terrible thing to have and lose again, but they’re not everything. We’ve never needed—”

When he stopped talking, he smiled again, but it was a real eye-crinkling smile. Juliet didn’t understand why until a moment later, when she felt tiny teeth and a pair of little paws on her tail. Without getting up, Juliet reached back and hauled the little nipper off her tail by the scruff of his neck and dropped him at Connall’s feet.

“Hello there, my wee lad,” said Connall as he scooped up the pup. “It’s been too long since you’ve had a proper chase, hasn’t it? Juliet, what would you say to running the pups for me? Your master won’t even notice you’ve stayed longer thanks to Hell time, and the pups could really use the practice.”

Juliet didn’t even have to think about it. Leaping away for a head start while Connall still held the playful pup, Juliet raced off down the tunnel leading deeper into the kennels in search of a good place to hole up. She was better and faster than any human, so if the pups could learn to hunt her, they could hunt anything.

An empty cell for injured ‘hounds provided the perfect hiding place for the human she was pretending to be. With a glance over her shoulder to make sure they hadn’t somehow caught up yet, Juliet dashed inside the room and took up a position opposite the doorway, her back to the wall.

She didn’t have to wait long for the pups to find her, the whole pack of half-sized ‘hounds bounding into the room, full of enthusiasm. While the lead pup stopped to howl, the rest charged at her, yipping and biting each other to jockey for position. Juliet gave them the barest chance to reach her before bowling them over to clear the pack, leaving the room with only the lead pup on her heels.

Being able to run at speed, even in the confines of the kennels, felt amazing. With good rough stone under her paws and the scent of brimstone in her nose, she never wanted to stop. (Which was lucky for her, because the pups weren’t grasping the point of her game at all.)

Though they should have known to expect it, she pulled the same trick again and again, each time escaping before the pups could react. It wasn’t exactly like fighting a human, but Juliet wanted to be sure none of them would be unprepared if their own demon charged at them with a weapon. Given what she saw, they were entirely unprepared.

Dashing into yet another room, she went through the exact same exercise — back to the wall, wait, charge through the pack — and considered turning the exercise into plain old game of chase. Sure, they wouldn’t have learned anything, but Connall had only asked her to run them. She was still deciding what to do when she crashed into something that wasn’t there a moment before.

She rolled with it, coming to a stop only to find the pup who had been leading the pack was playfully gnawing on her foreleg. It didn’t take much thought to figure it out. He’d done exactly what she wanted him to do: he’d shadow jumped ahead of her to take her down.

Intelligent thought merited a reward. Juliet lowered her head and front paws to the ground and wagged her tail. The pup yipped happily and attacked her ear. By the time the rest of the pack caught up, they were in the middle of an excellent play fight. She let her tiny opponent get in one good tackle before picking him up by the scruff of his neck and returning him to his pack. He had a new lesson to teach his packmates before they were done, not to mention they still needed to learn to get in a bite while she was charging at them.

When Juliet returned the pups to Connall, they swarmed around his legs and barked for food. Evidently he had anticipated that, because he was ready with a bag of rats, which he dangled by the tails for the pups to catch. Juliet patiently waited while the treats were distributed, revelling in the feeling of having been good and useful.

The last rat was snapped up by mostly-corporeal jaws and Connall draped the empty sack over his shoulder to free up his hands for the more important job of giving Juliet a good head scratching. “That was well done, my girl. I can’t say I saw most of it, but I managed to catch the end of your lesson, and it’s one that’ll serve them well. I’m glad your master doesn’t mind if you visit, so you can help me train the next litter of pups.”

Juliet closed her eyes to better enjoy the reward scratches, softly whuffing in response to the words. Of course she’d help train the next litter of pups. Playing with them was the most fun she’d had since— 

Oh. It was the most fun she’d had since the last time she’d been able to play as a ‘hound. As nice as it was being able to speak and have opposable thumbs, it wasn’t _fun_. Running and playing and wrestling with pups was fun. Showers were nice, hugs were nice, but they weren’t fun, and trying to be a human while being unable to protect her master was— Well, she didn’t have a word for it, but it was definitely Not Fun.

It was time to go home. She needed to make sure her master had fun.

She interrupted Connall’s petting to lick his hand, then stepped back. Fortunately, he must have understood, because he smiled and said, “It’s time to go back to your master, I see. I hope he learned even half as much from his time as a ‘hound as you did while human. Go, but come back when you can.” He grinned before adding, “If you don’t, I might have to send one of the pups to chase your Winchester until he lets you come back.”

Juliet snorted. That would never happen. Her master had no problem with her visiting the kennels whenever she wanted. Giving Connall’s chest a reassuring headbutt, Juliet barked her agreement before leaping into the shadow at his feet.

Everyone was where she left them in the Bunker Palace, which she should have expected because of Hell time, but was still always a relief. It was never easy to leave her master unguarded, so she reassured herself by bounding over to him and giving his hand an enthusiastic lick.

Her master chuckled and ruffled her fur. “I’ll never get over how fast that happens. So, how’s Hell? Anything new?”

Juliet whimpered softly. After being unable to tell Connall anything about her adventures as a human, it was just too much. Growling softly, she formed the words in her head, in an effort to vent her frustration. _But I can’t make mouth-words anymore! How can I tell you my story if I can’t make words for you to hear?_

At best, she’d only hoped for a hint of understanding through their bond. Instead, her master’s eyebrows shot up and his mouth gaped open. Everyone else stared at him with what Juliet thought was probably confusion (or maybe a strange sort of anger, but probably not, because scrunchy foreheads were hard to interpret).

Her master spoke with slow uncertainty. “Juliet, did you just say something?”

Ignoring the murmurs from the others, Juliet attempted to send more strong thoughts. _I didn’t say anything. My mouth can’t make words. I did make thought-words, though. Wait, you can hear my thought-words? Pleasepleaseplease say you can hear my thought-words._

“I can hear your thought-words,” her master replied, then chuckled and repeated, “I can hear your thought-words!”

Cas, Eileen, and Samoose all started talking at once, but the moment they all stopped, the Rowena witch paused in the middle of packing her bag and said, “Oh good, it worked. I didn’t want to promise anything without knowing for sure, but I had hoped.” When everybody continued silently staring, she elaborated, “I altered the spell, so I only reversed the body swap, not the paired communication. Shored it up a tad while I was there, as well. Barring someone deliberately crafting a counterspell, it should last you until approximately forever.”

_It’s real! _Juliet jumped up on her master and licked his face. _It’s really real!_

Her master laughed and hugged her, moving his face behind her back, where she couldn’t lick it. “It’s really real. Actually, we should probably be thanking Rowena. She deserves our _most sincere_ appreciation.”

He was right. Magic/tea Rowena had changed, and she definitely deserved to be thanked. Juliet trotted across the room, her enthusiasm only tempered by the knowledge that it was unwise to surprise a witch, otherwise she would have crossed the room in a single joyful bound.

Rowena got a funny look on her face. She snatched up her bag and stepped behind Samoose. “That’s quite alright, I don’t believe this outfit requires any furry contributions. You can save your appreciation for the next time I need a favour.” Circling around Samoose to keep him between her and Juliet, Rowena added, “I’ll see myself out, thanks. No need to concern yourselves.”

It was a confusing moment for Juliet — who didn’t want to be thanked? — but Eileen chased away the questions with a hand on her head. As much as she loved her master, Eileen gave really good head scratches, and everything else kind of slid away when she found that spot behind Juliet’s ears. As she scratched, Eileen said, “Her loss. If I read her words right, though, you can give her face a thorough licking when she cashes in her favour.”

“Actually,” said Samoose, “I should probably go make sure she isn’t making off with any of the spellbooks we’ve already told her she can’t have.”

That was something Juliet could help with! _Don’t worry! I think I can ask the Bunker Palace to only let her leave if she didn’t take anything really important._

Her master grinned. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem, Samoose. The Bunker’s got it all under control.”

While Juliet communicated her request to the Bunker Palace — and got silent reassurance in response — her people kept talking.

Samoose’s forehead got all wrinkled. “Okay, first, you’re gonna have to explain what the hell that means, but also, not you too. Why am I suddenly Samoose?”

“What? It’s your name, Samoose,” her master replied, still smiling.

Eileen made finger words at Cas, who glanced at Juliet before answering in both regular and finger words. “You’re right, I did promise to explain. Why don’t we start another pot of coffee and I’ll see if I can make sense of it all.”

“Yeah, coffee first, then interdimensional glitter portal,” said Juliet’s master. “Seriously, that’s one smell I’ll never forget, even though it kinda breaks my brain just thinking about it.”

Everything was back as it was supposed to be, and her Bunker friend wasn't even a secret anymore. Life was good. Juliet followed her people to the food room, wondering if coffee tasted any different to ‘hounds.


	11. Epilogue

_Two weeks later..._

"I know, right?" Dean chuckled, just loud enough to make Cas look up from his book. At the other table, Dean was clearly in a deep conversation with Juliet, the two of them with their eyes locked on each other. Juliet tilted her head and wagged her tail. Dean shook his head. "Well, I ain't gonna explain it to you."

A soft whine from Juliet.

"Yeah, well, that's what happens."

Juliet flopped onto the floor, which caused Dean to laugh uproariously, then wave off Cas' questioning look when he caught sight of it.

'Hound and master quickly fell back into their conversation, though after a minute, they both got up and left the room, Dean saying something about the woods out back and Juliet trotting along beside him. Cas sighed huffily, causing Sam to raise his eyes from his laptop screen.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Nothing."

"C'mon."

Cas looked over his shoulder to reassure himself that Dean and Juliet were not present. "I know I should be grateful that Rowena's spell put them back in their bodies and still maintained the connection between them, but I finally understand why being a 'third wheel' isn't better, except for stability."

Sam blinked. "You...you're upset about being a third wheel."

"...Yes?" Something about Sam's voice made Cas cautious.

"Because for _two weeks_, people around you have had mostly silent or one-sided conversations or have just stared at each other intently, completely unaware of your presence in the room."

"I—"

"No," Sam said, abruptly shutting his laptop and pointing a finger at Cas. "Don't even start. Come back to me in _ten years_, then we'll talk_._"

And with that, he marched out of the room, leaving Cas to feel that he really should have seen that coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little Epilogue, but I jumped the gun and wrote the next part of the series already, so if you haven't read As Easy as 1-2-3, go ahead and give that link down there a click. :)

**Author's Note:**

> If you like our stuff, we have more!  
[Thayer's works](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ThayerKerbasy/pseuds/ThayerKerbasy/works)  
[Grey's works](http://archiveofourown.org/users/grey2510/series)  
And we Tumblr! @[grey2510](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/) and @[thayerkerbasy](https://thayerkerbasy.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!!


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